John Singleton Demonstrates What Second Chances Are Worth

By ThinkGoat

Sheridan Park, Illinois I’d like to think I’m a “second-chance kind of person” but there are conditions. If you fail to bend at the hip to pick something up off the floor that doesn’t belong there, ten-to-one, you’re going to hear about it in the form of bitching, maybe even an illustrated step-by-step on how the feat is to be performed. I’m not likely to cut all ties because of the offense. (This is clearly demonstrated, I might add, by still being hitched after 20 years)

Apparently I live in a world where reason and good judgement and common sense aren’t prevalent. In my world, trying to fucking kill me is a non-sequitur. If you lay a hand on me, even threaten to, you can bet your sweet ass your hair is going to land on a voodoo doll I keep in the hutch and I’m going to practice every barbaric contortion on that motherfucker I can imagine. No second chances. But maybe it’s because I’m not capable of the certain special kind of love mixed with poor fucking judgement.

Pediatric Nurse Michael William Lutts Provides Love to a Fostered Baby

 

By ThinkGoat

San Diego, California  Number 1: This particular baby has nothing to do with this story. Number 2: I really hate this pose, now that I’ve seen a few thousand variations of it in different degrees of awfulness. Number 3: This particular story does feature a premature baby and photographs…and a pediatric nurse who fostered that baby when no one else seemed to take interest.

Given the heartwarming introduction to this nurse, how is it this story made its way to being featured on CrimeCrawlers? Well, my friends, not every story here has to be filled with death, destruction, and debauchery. Some stories are chosen to make you feel good.

Breona Synclair Watkins is a Dumb Fuck.

Dumb Fuck

Lauderdale Lakes, Broward County, FL

It fucking amazes me how many ways people can find to be stupid, ya know?  Just when you think mankind has reached its pinnacle of stupidity, someone else comes along and raises the bar.  I’m starting to wonder if perhaps it’s some kind of esoteric competition that most of us aren’t privy to.  Somewhere there is probably a Bohemian Grove for losers like this idiot pictured above.  Admittedly, if I were simply perusing pictures and came across this shit hook, I probably wouldn’t give her a second thought.  I mean, she looks perfectly average to me.

Breona Synclair Watkins is a 19-year-old mother from Lauderdale Lakes, FL.  On or around September 23rd, Old Bre here was cruising Broward County in a 2005 Dodge Stratus accompanied by a 14-year-old minor and on the minor’s lap sat the 5-month-old infant of Watkins.  And they were driving around about 1 a.m., doing whatever stupid people do in Broward County.  They were probably having a good, old time…shooting the shit and…well…

Don’t Poop on Kimberly Powell’s Carpet or She May Slap You to Death like She did to her 15-Month-Old Granddaughter, Amber Enard!

By LadyJustice

Denver, Colorado-Police have now released Kimberly Powell, the grandmother that allegedly beat her granddaughter to death, pending further autopsy results. The release came the SAME DAY she was arrested for the investigation of child abuse resulting in the death of her 15-month-old granddaughter, Amber Enard. Amber died in a horribly violent way on August 3, 2011 at the hands of her own 48-year-old grandmother police say. What the little girl went through was pure hell.

Small Children Found Duct-Taped Inside a Burning House

By LadyJustice

Guadalupe, Arizona  Police are trying to figure out why 3 children were in a house when a couch catch fire and, more importantly, why 2 of them were bound with duct-tape.

Fairrin Moss Won’t Be Featured In Any Parenting Magazines

By ThinkGoat

Columbus, Ohio What in the world was she doing there? Did she have a key or pick the lock? Was the door even locked? What right does a relative have to just walk on in an apartment occupied by someone else and just take charge? If I were Fairrin Moss, I’d be highly ticked off at my sister. Not only did she invade Fairrin’s home, she found that pesky little 3-year-old locked safely away in the closet.

Dr. David Tyler Montaldi Broke His Girlfriend’s Baby.

By ThinkGoat

Mount Clemens, Michigan Osteopathic medicine:  A system of medicine based on the theory that disturbances in the musculoskeletal system affect other bodily parts, causing many disorders that can be corrected by various manipulative techniques in conjunction with conventional medical, surgical, pharmacological, and other therapeutic procedures. ThinkGoat’s medical theory:  disturbances caused by breaking the skull affect other body parts. See? I don’t even have to be a resident physician to pull that shit out of my ass. Nor do I need to be a doctor to be certain a bullmastiff didn’t cause three to four skull fractures and tears to the vagina and anus of a 13-month-old baby girl.

Heather Ator Finds Herself a New Chew Toy

By ThinkGoat

Pittsfield, Illinois Some children are just dealt a shitty hand from the get-go. When some children should be off playing with other children, riding their bikes, climbing trees, they’re left having to worry about raising their parents. When some toddlers should be learning to walk, learning to talk, getting weaned from a bottle or pacifier, they’re instead having to teach their parents lessons on behavioral issues like: it’s not nice to bite. And society doesn’t look fondly on any parent who can’t seem to recognize their own need for a chew toy and instead uses the flesh of their children to satisfy the urge to gnaw.

Joel Anderson Kicks 9-Year-Old in the Balls Causing Emergency Surgery.

By Scorpiogirl

Ponca City, Oklahoma So this loser, Mr. Joel Anderson had a few beers and decided to fuck with the kid.  This kid got sick of being fucked with and kicked the bastard in the knee a couple of times, and got kicked HARD in the groin. 

Hope Gallegos Crashes Truck,Injures Baby

Hope Gallegos

By Twisted Terrors

VALENCIA COUNTY, N.M. – I really have a problem with mothers who doesn’t give any consideration to the beautiful babies they bring into this already difficult life. You know the ones I am talking about. The mothers who put their own desires before the best interest of their babies. The mothers you hear saying “Just because I have a baby, it doesn’t mean I can’t  party”, or the like.