Rushville, Illinois Shhhh. I want everyone to be real quiet for just a moment………do you hear it? It might be a little difficult at first but if you listen closely you can hear it building steam. It’s called karma and it’s got its aim right up Ryan Boyd’s ass. And since Boyd claims he’s a “redneck” per his myspace page, it’s only appropriate that I include the only country song lyrics I’m familiar with: “I hear the train a comin’. It’s rollin’ ’round the bend. I’m tired of leaning over while Bubba puts it in.” I know, I suck at remembering the exact words.
December 2, 2009 we ran a story regarding the death of Ryan Jones – a young man who local police officers claimed died alone in a late night single vehicle crash.
Upon first glance, and taking the story the authorities first gave the Jones family, it’d be understandable the family wasn’t notified for a couple of hours after their son died…late at night…alone…rural area… It wasn’t until rumors began to quickly surface that Ryan Jones’ father started to question what they were told in the hospital and asked for the State Police to step in and put a boot in the ass of the lying bastards that were in control of the county.
One thing about rumors, it’s difficult to siphon the truth, but given the fact the two boys with Ryan Jones that evening invited their girlfriends to the scene to watch this young man die on the ground, coupled with their inability to keep their mouths shut and their fingers still, enough was gleaned from them that pointed to an outright conspiracy.
Maybe it was when Boyd and Brian Robertson and their girlfriends had exhausted the people in their calling list, they finally decided to call daddy, a local deputy. By then it was too late for Jones. Perhaps that’s why the police allowed everyone to leave the scene without an official report, the kid was already dead and there was nothing else to do but preserve the lives of those who lived through it. And, I’ve heard it’s much better sleeping off a good night of drinking in your own bed vs. a cot in the jail. ‘Beat it on home kids. Get some rest. Leave the police cover-up business to the professionals.’
For months, the small community of Rushville Illinois has had to watch Ryan Boyd drive his beloved truck around town with total freedom, and what he more than likely thought, immunity from the police. After all, he’s the son of a local deputy. He escaped the crime scene unscathed. For months, the family and friends of Ryan Jones have had to endure public ridicule from outsiders who simply couldn’t grasp the concept that, not just one – but many, would lie about something like this. Well motherfuckers, eat some crow. The State Police (an agency actually willing to uphold their responsibility to protect and serve) gathered enough evidence to present to a Grand Jury which resulted in the indictment of Ryan Boyd.
Allegedly, Boyd told Sheriff Schieferdecker he came upon the accident while he was riding in a jeep driven by Jamie Lane. But Boyd lies a lot. And by the sound of it, he’s gotten away with it for a very long time. The State Police and the Grand Jury weren’t impressed nor swayed by his lies. He was indicted on 6 charges: felony reckless homicide, felony aggravated driving under the influence of alcohol, three counts of felony obstructing justice, and a misdemeanor failure to render aid.
I’ve been waiting to be able to provide a follow-up to this story and I’m thrilled to be able to update it with news of the “entitled one” going down. For Boyd, the definition of “going down” will be taking on new meaning if he’s convicted… Just imagine the jaw muscles he’ll be sporting! That’s not the only thing he has to look forward to if he goes to prison. I don’t think, when this picture was taken, he realized his asshole might be stretched beyond the circumference of that Keystone Light can. I hear there’s a lot of elasticity in the anus but there’s bound to be some adverse reactions to Bubba’s Hotbeef injection. Perhaps it’ll be an irreversible condition where he doesn’t realize he’s shit himself until the turd falls out of his pants leg and he slips on it. What a shitty way to have to end up.
I hope the family and the community continue to apply pressure to the balls of the local police department and more charges follow. At the very least, they’ll hopefully see a change of faces who might take their duties seriously and who don’t have the propensity to lie.
Email ThinkGoat: firstname.lastname@example.org
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