Cozy Up To Fania Robinson. I Dare You.

Posted: March 24, 2010 by thinkgoat in Aggravated Battery
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

By ThinkGoat

Zephyrhillis, Florida How could I possibly turn away from this picture? What do you hear while you gaze upon this fine specimen of a woman? I hear, “Shit, what the fuck are you looking at, bitch?” And, uncharacteristically for me, had I met that face and that question in person, I would have melted my shoes to the pavement in my mad dash to get the hell away from her. There are some people whom you can tell just aren’t right by looking at them. Fania Robinson is one.

She’s a “nail technician”. When I first read that I thought: she fucking spits nails. I somehow find that a little easier to believe than “nail technician” like in a salon…unless she’s in charge of filing those things to a deadly point to kill someone. It’s been said, many times of me, that I don’t take much shit. I honestly believe I would pale in comparison to Fania. I may have flung objects at unsuspecting but well deserving people but I’ve never tossed a pot of boiling water on anyone…yet.

She did. She.Had.Enough. Allegedly, Fania was doing some cooking when some poor sucker of a man pissed her off. She took the pot of boiling water and flung it on him causing 3rd-degree burns over his chest and arms. I’d like to believe it was their first date…that he’d not actually friended her to the point of hanging with her more than once in his life. Unless, of course, he was interviewing her for a bodyguard position. Surely men aren’t that desperate to try to get to first, second, or even third base with her. But what do I know? There are some men who aren’t willing to come out of the closet completely and are prone to seek masculine looking women…or transvestites…or her. I’m hoping maybe she’ll find this article and ‘splain the whole thing to me.

The humorous part of this crime…it happened in February but she was just arrested Monday. There was no official explanation as to the delay in the arrest. Hell, I know why. The police were scared. They probably took one look at her early on and said, “Fuck.That.”

Fania Robinson was charged with aggravated battery and she’s currently being held without bail. Absolutely. Once you detain something like that, it’s a public safety issue releasing her back to the wild.

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Email ThinkGoat:  thinkgoat2@gmail.com

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Comments
  1. ravenblackehart says:

    OMG!!! I was going to go to bed…..now i don’t dare or I’ll have nightmares.

    Like

  2. thinkgoat says:

    That’s no shit, RaVen.

    Like

  3. ravenblackehart says:

    she fell outta the ugly tree and hit every damn branch on the way down

    Like

  4. thinkgoat says:

    I failed to mention her tattoo across her chest…”Sweetie” LMFAO. With a chest like that, she could have included the entire definition for that word as well 😀

    Like

  5. ravenblackehart says:

    She scared the paint off of a ’56 Buick

    Like

  6. Lazlo says:

    “Once you detain something like that, it’s a public safety issue releasing her back to the wild.”

    That one caught me completely off guard! I love a good belly laugh!

    Like

  7. ravenblackehart says:

    if ugly was music, she’d be the whole brass band

    Like

  8. thinkgoat says:

    Wonder if the jail had to put her in a special cell. Wouldn’t steel bars disintegrate?

    Like

  9. LaLaCookies says:

    WOW she’s a looker. lmao

    Like

  10. Auntie says:

    Kiss her ass that what you motherfucker do. when you are tried you are tried. i bet he will not fuck with her again about cooking after she’s work 12 hours

    Like

  11. Hell yeah Auntie, these fucking white people trippin’.

    Like

  12. thinkgoat says:

    Auntie, I imagine that’s a whole lot of ass to be having to kiss…you know, if her picture is any indication as to her girth. I’m not sure, if I were him, any meal would be worth that.

    Like

  13. ravenblackehart says:

    Richard! Stop encouraging people. I realize you’re just doing it for the lulz, but still.

    Like

  14. Auntie says:

    She Is the sweeties person you could ever meet and for you people that don’t even know her and too get on here say all those bad thing about her for what she did. I just don’t understand it. Pray for her not belittle her.

    Like

  15. sassy red says:

    I agree u people dont know fania she has been my nail tech for 2 years an she is the sweetest person in the world caron stank ass got just what his motherfucken ass needed i bet he will sit on that ass now.

    Like

  16. thinkgoat says:

    Laugh my fucking ass off. Throwing a pot of boiling hot water on some dude, causing 3rd-degree burns is not my idea of sweet, no matter what the hell the guy did. I don’t need to “know” her – the fact she has been charged with aggravated battery is good enough for me.

    Like

  17. Girl what did Caron’s stank ass do? You have to piss someone off pretty bad, and repeatedly for someone to messy up your day the way Fania did Caron’s!

    Like

  18. Hell if she was cooking his food for him and he was talking shit, I think he deserved it! A woman that cooks for a man deserves respect!

    Like

  19. thinkgoat says:

    I wonder if she was cooking some gourmet dinner like Ramen. You know, after a 12 hour shift (which is almost as bad as it was during slavery) she probably considered boiling water a fucking big deal.

    Like

  20. ravenblackehart says:

    The name Fania reminds me of Fania Fenelon in the movie “Playing for Time”.

    Like

  21. thinkgoat says:

    Fitting. Hopefully our Fania will be doing some time!

    Like

  22. ravenblackehart says:

    I know! She can get a job working in the prison kitchen.

    Like

  23. thinkgoat says:

    Bonus. It’s always fantastic when someone gets processed in who has experience.

    Like

  24. ladeerealness says:

    Fuck you @thinkgoat the shit u write is shit! My cousin did what she had to do she was defending herself.

    Like

  25. thinkgoat says:

    That hambeast? Had to defend herself? LMFAO. Riiiight. I have an easier time thinking the dude was too big to fit in the pot (and she was too lazy to shank him with a shish kabob skewer because she done worked dat 12-hour shift) and she decided to boil him up quick. That bitch looks like she could eat a rhino in one sitting.

    Like

  26. ravenblackehart says:

    looks like someone shaved a gorilla and slapped a cheap ass wig on it

    Like

  27. ravenblackehart says:

    And you KNOW she got that wig in the discount Halloween bin down at the Dollar General.

    Like

  28. thinkgoat says:

    LMAO! Discount days at the Dollar Store always bring them out, don’t they?

    Like

  29. ladeerealness says:

    @thinkgoat man u a trip no comment that hit funny

    Like

  30. Bay says:

    O
    M
    G

    What is that?

    Like

  31. thinkgoat says:

    I see you’ve met Fania! I’m not real sure what it is besides scary! RaVen and I generally use something over our screen (like a shield) just in case it jumps out at us.

    Like

  32. Krammmer says:

    I gotta say, that is the biggest scariest black bitch I think I have ever seen.

    Like

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