Posts Tagged ‘Alabama’

By ThinkGoat

Mobile, Alabama  There’s nothing that will make me homesick for the South quicker than a few pictures or a good story. I have a great love for the people in the deep South. I seized the opportunity to work with a number of true Southerners and gathered enough material to fill a book of short stories. I’ve neither scratched my head so much nor laughed so hard as I did while working with this “breed” of people. And they are a breed. Especially the ones who found their way under my guidance. I’m not sure if my upper management wanted to sink me or if they actually thought I could do something with some of these characters. Nonetheless, I seemed to end up with the most lively, 100% of whom were bussed in from Northern counties in the state, and all of whom brought with them daily woes of their extended families.

When I first read this story, a couple a days ago, I saw “Prichard man” and immediately looked at the name of the accused to see if 1.) he’d been employed by us or 2.) he was the cousin/nephew/son/husband of someone we employed. I was sort of disappointed to find his name was not familiar and extremely disappointed I’ve lost contact with my two favorite ladies down there so I could get their take on what transpired. I’m positive they know someone who’s given them the inside story here and I can almost see and hear Miss Mack standing there with her hand on her hip, rolling those eyes back in her head as she’s relaying the gory details. “Shit girl, that boy done dug his uncle’s eyes out. One at a time, girl. Dirtied up that spoon and everything. I ain’t eating off their shit no more.(more…)


By ThinkGoat

Pensacola, Florida As I sit here and write this article, the rest of the cool people are hanging in my old stomping grounds soaking up the sun, the breeze, and digging their toes in the pristine white sand beaches of Gulf Shores, Alabama while listening to today’s line-up. Yeah, I tried to escape this shitty weather by entering a contest for a 3-day pass to The Hangout’s Music Festival through Coast 360 but they really hate Northerners. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it) Actually it came down to drawing a name out of the hat but I’m convinced they used the wrong one. Nonetheless, today wraps up a weekend of unbelievable musical talent that rocked the little coastal community I used to call home. Keller Williams, Alison Krauss and Union Station, Ben Harper, Trey Anastasio, Gov’t Mule, and about 30+ other bands are jamming their asses off where Hwy 59 runs into the water and I’m sitting in my living room watching Scooby doo. I could very easily be smashed on margaritas, donating to the Hangout’s mounting heap of money – all of which is being turned back in to the regional plight that lingers off the shores of this little slice of paradise. The oil spill. Not one penny is being made from this 3-day bash – the proceeds are being used by those who are fighting to preserve the coast line. And as I sit here anxiously awaiting introducing our latest idiot, I can’t help but wonder, since she’s so close to Gulf Shores, if she’d decided to hoard her crack and waited to sell it at the music festival instead of the undercover cop, if she would have been able to maintain her chosen lifestyle instead of facing some jail time. (more…)

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By Thinkgoat

Montgomery, Alabama I’ve refused a lot of things in my lifetime: refused to try sushi, refused to put a new roll of toilet paper “under” instead of “over”, and refused to let my husband have the last word but never ever have I refused to have any of my babies. By the time 9 months of joy have ticked down, believe me…each and every time I’ve looked forward to that day. Not only for the chance to hold my little bundle of needs but also to see the bones in my ankles with no swelling, being able to roll over in bed without feeling like a beached whale, and thank God, the end of complete strangers feeling the need to walk up and put their grubby hand on my stomach. I don’t know a single woman who’s ever hoped that her pregnancy would last just one more day except for now. Jennifer Nanetta James has to be the only bitch walking this planet who has signed a waiver refusing to have her baby when she visited the doctor’s office and split. Something tells me she had other plans… (more…)