By ThinkGoat

Lancaster, New Hampshire  Jesus Christ . I don’t know who’d be brave enough to head into a cemetery in the middle of the night with someone who looks like that but apparently there were three stupid brave individuals who fit the bill. I have to wonder how she got anyone to go along with her great idea but nowhere did it mention persuasion with drugs and/or alcohol. There had to be something because I’d like to think I have some pretty cool friends, but dude, I have to mention alcohol to get even one of them to show up to help dig a hole to bury a fucking hamster. Even then they bitch about the work it takes and always question the over-sized box I’ve chosen that’s pretty much pointless in the whole scheme of things. Point is: How much bitching did these friends do when they got about 8 shovel-fulls in and realized this bitch was serious about shaking down her dad who’d been dead for about ten years?

Back in May of this year, some poor unsuspecting citizen was taking a morning stroll through the local cemetery and happened upon a sight not many can claim to behold. While it’s not unusual to see a grave ready for a body to be interred, it is unusual to see those mounds of dirt in front of a tombstone of a guy who’d been buried there ten years prior. Add to that scene, a mutilated casket sitting topside…


Eddie Nash, “King of the Used Equipment World”, suffered a heart attack in 2004. Noted as a great and hardworking businessman and a very personable individual, in describing him, his friends neglected to mention, “forgetful”. It seems Eddie, in putting his affairs into order, left out one of his daughters. (I’m being so gracious by avoiding the urge to say Eddie may have viewed this particular daughter as a screwup and didn’t want to see a red-cent go to her)

As any jilted sibling would do, Melinda Nash (Lynch) convinced herself over ten years, that her sister Susie had buried the real will, you know, the one that must have left the family business and fortune to her, with their father’s body.

So in the middle of night on May 11, allegedly Melinda, with buddies Michael Day (37), David Grey (53), had poor 71-year-old Ginette Dowse drive them to the cemetery. Ginette didn’t actually help with the archaeological festivities, instead, she drove far enough away that when the police stopped to inquire about her presence there, they were satisfied (and I’m sure thoroughly disgusted) with the story of her stopping to take a piss.

They reconsidered that story when the 911 call of an opened casket came at daybreak.

Melinda and her buddies allegedly dug up dear old dad, cracked the cement lid of the vault, and pried open the metal casket.

Poor Eddie was patted down, poked and prodded, looking for that bundle of papers that would surely change the fate of his darling daughter. Instead of the new-found fortune (and a whole bunch of “I Told You So’s”), they walked away with nothing but a stale pack of cigarettes that were buried with Papa and hopefully an appreciation of good embalming.

“It wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be”, she told Ginette. Thank fucking God for that.”

While being questioned by the police, Melinda told them they dug up her father “with respect” and that he’d be “okay with it”. Nicely played, Melinda. If you don’t believe in ghosts, I hope you find a suitable explanation for your bed shifting a couple of inches in the middle of the night.
Nash and company are charged with Class B felony counts of interfering with a cemetery and conspiracy to interfere, criminal mischief, as well as a Class A misdemeanor count of abuse of a corpse. The old lady in the getaway car is facing accomplice felony counts of criminal mischief, interfering with a cemetery and conspiracy to interfere, as well as a misdemeanor count of accomplice to the crime of abuse of a corpse. What? No public indecency? Public urination?

Almost five months after their arrest, Nash’s lawyer is wanting the written statement suppressed, citing she’d not received her Miranda rights…the statements of daddy being okay with the respectful digging came after her arrest.

Coos County Attorney John McCormick said Nash showed her “free will” in coming to police and waiving her Miranda rights. Meh, I think she just showed her crazy card.

Source1 | Source2 | Source3 | Source4 |

  1. deadmyron says:

    It was a great idea to put the mugshot as an inset on the picture of the desecrated grave. So we know she dug up her daddy, but who the fuck dug her up? Goddamn if she doesn’t look like a half-inflated sex doll.

    And what a crew she put together for the caper! I can almost envision them gathered around the kitchen table, with cigar smoke wafting up to the bare light bulb; firming up their plans, while Granny is in the pisser.

    I agree with you TG, if there wasn’t any drugs involved, there sure as hell should have been. Oh, and by the way, you do kind of go overboard when you bury hamsters.


  2. thinkgoat says:

    but who the fuck dug her up?

    Willem Dafoe.

    As I was midpoint in this story, someone slipped in a disk of a movie with Dafoe and Laura Dern. Since it wasn’t a David Lynch flick, it threw me off and I ended up combining the movie and Melanie Nash’s tale into my dream and I feel so fucking hungover right now, just from the experience.

    As a matter of fact, now that I’ve had a few minutes to sort shit out again, I may be onto something.

    Speaking of burying hamsters – the last one almost wasn’t able to dig his way back out. I’m getting better.

    Liked by 1 person


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