By Evil Twin Jess
Meadville, Pennsylvania. I can think of a lot of ways to get kicked out of a convenience store. Climbing into one of those walk-in freezers or coolers could potentially be one of them. Hiding behind the racks and handing people drinks when they open the door, or just grabbing their hand when they reach in for a gallon of milk would be fun. I think it would be a riot to hide behind the energy drinks where no one could see me, and speak as if I were the items; “Help, there’s a Monster in here, somebody call Dr. Pepper!”. I’m not sure what Carrie Ann Harkness did to warrant being asked to leave the Meadville Country Fair convenience store, because it was so completely overshadowed by her reaction to being kicked out that no one is talking about that part.
This 23-year-old mother of two walked into the convenience store at 4a.m. on Saturday morning. Her Facebook page shows evidence of quite an eventful date she apparently went on prior to going into the Country Fair store. The status update she posted on Sunday read, “OMG have you ever liked someone so much and go out with them and make a fool of yourself? Wish I could take back Friday night!”. I bet she does. I bet the guy does too. And the convenience store clerk. And the police officer who responded to the call.
Allegedly, while Ms. Harkness was in the store, she climbed into one of the walk-in freezers. When an employee asked her to leave, she became angry, and she showed her displeasure by urinating right there in the freezer. Some accounts indicate she may have asked where the restroom was located before she decided it was just too far to walk. Or maybe she just had one too many Icee’s and the cold temperature in that freezer put her over the edge. Twenty-three is a little young for bladder control issues, but sometimes after having kids, it happens. In fact, they teach pregnant women exercises to prevent such an occurance. Perhaps Carrie didn’t follow her doctor’s instructions. Do they sell Depends in convenience stores?
Whatever the reason for her little accident, Carrie Ann Harkness destroyed $500 worth of frozen cookies, bagels, and other assorted food items. I know they stack those cases tightly for delivery, but it seems like it would take a lot of pee to get $500 worth of baked goods. These are the types of stories that leave me needing more details; how did she, being female, pee on the food? Did she sit on the boxes? Did she walk around while she was peeing for maximum coverage? Does she have some anatomical feature or talent that I am unaware of? And most importantly, was the guy she “liked so much” still with her when this happened? What a way to impress a date!
Ms. Harkness was charged with disorderly conduct and criminal mischief. She goes to court on January 12, but for now, she has a great story to tell around the table at Christmas dinner. I’m sure her kids will be grateful, too, when they return to school after Christmas vacation and mommy is famous. No word on whether the bagels are suing for emotional distress.