Matthew Douglas Hicks Gets Busted for Exposing His…….Intelligence

Posted: September 15, 2010 by thinkgoat in Crime, Exposing Genitals in Public, Trespassing
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

By ThinkGoat

Glendale, Arizona  / Ouachita Parish, Louisiana I don’t care what your party stories are, nothing can compare to Matthew Hicks’ tale. Period. Or at least what he can remember of it, which is just enough to award him with the Dude trophy.

Found wearing only a pair of rubber boots some 1300 miles away from home, police responded to a 911 call and apprehended Matthew Hicks (32) walking toward the road. I surmise, just by the sheer nature of being all nekkid, they were certain they had their man.

He couldn’t recall why his car was towed, nor how he landed at the home of the lady who called the police, but he did know he was from Glendale, Arizona and well, decided to make the best of a confusing situation.

While looking out your window and seeing some stranger lathering himself up and bathing in your swimming pool may be a tad strange, seeing that same stranger humping your glass door isn’t that far out there. I mean, who hasn’t done it at least once?

Authorities state Hicks admitted to bathing in the swimming pool and when asked about the lewd acts with the door, his response: “She saw me?” Dude. You were attempting to hump a glass door, of course she saw you. And she was unamused. And a bit disturbed.

Humpty Dumpty was charged on one count of exposing his genitals in public and one count of trespassing.


  1. interesting says:

    Good thing there wasn’t a hole in the glass; that would hurt worse than any rug burn.


  2. deadmyron says:

    What the fuck must that have looked like from the woman’s point of view? I’m sure we’ve all seen those funny videos of dogs or kids licking windows from the opposite side. I’ll bet it looked like a leech having a seizure.


  3. Matthew says:

    I got class with this guy in UTI XD lmfao


  4. thinkgoat says:

    Give him my best!



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