San Antonio, Texas Here’s a lighthearted story concerning an All-American boy and his photography hobby. According to police, Martin Matthew Hemby was pursuing his interests in capturing real life when he ran afoul of his subjects ideas of “decency” and “personal privacy”. He was arrested for taking pictures with his cell phone up a womans skirt. For the second time in two weeks!
In local reports, a 40-year-old woman told police that she was browsing the greeting card section at Wal-Mart, when she noticed that our boy was kneeling down behind her, and appeared to be taking pictures with his cell phone. She slugged him in the chest, and asked him just what the in hell he was doing. She said that he was laughing, and that he showed her his phone.
Jesus. This young man has some balls. Balls, that for reasons we can probably guess, are seriously under-utilized; but balls none-the-less. I mean, what kind of unrepentant pervert sneaks his filthy pictures, and then shows them off to his victim? Does he have no shame? No sense of embarrassment? If this doesn’t fall under the definition of sociopath, I’m not sure what does.
And get this! It is his second offense in as many weeks! This little bastard was just busted on July 23 for the very same offense, at that very store. On that occasion, he admitted to the police that he took the “photos under the dresses of unsuspecting women for his own personal gratification,”
What is it exactly, about Sam Walton’s legacy, that brings out the freaks? Seriously? A trip to my local Super Center is analogous to a trip to the circus. I spend most of my time gawking at the side-shows. It’s better than Springer.
Martin Matthew Hemby was charged with improper photography. Sounds like he set his F-Stop wrong doesn’t it?And in a classic case of judicial what-the-fuck, Mr. Hemby’s bail was set at $5,000. That seems about right for this type of offense, until you consider that the bond for his first alleged crime was set at $10,000. What is this, a fuck up once, get your second fuck-up for half price?
He has made bond, and no doubt is again out practicing his craft. So ladies, take your mothers advice, and don’t leave the house without clean underwear.