Michael Dupree Cries About a Well Deserved Ass Whooping

By Lazlo

St. Petersburg, Florida There is nothing in this world sorrier than a grown man crying about the consequences of his own dumbassery. I know we live in the era of “sensitivity” and all that happy horseshit,  but come on. If you are fucking up, be a man and take your beating. In Michael Dupree’s case, I mean that literally.

Michael Dupree was convicted on burglary and cocaine possession charges stemming from his crime against Anthony McKoy in October of 2007. Mr McKoy had been in his office, and when he returned he noticed that the passenger window in one of his vehicles had been smashed. He spied Michael down the street, trying to sell a red bike that had been in the vehicle. McKoy was joined by two other men as he gave chase after the thief, and they finally cornered him a few hundred feet away. The article states that by then he was naked. The three citizens held Dupree until the police arrived.

Before I move on, the screaming question in my head is why did this guy take his clothes off? Was it some sort of twisted defense strategy? Because, I have to admit, it might work with me. If I had been chasing someone, and then they were naked, I would have serious reservations about pursuing the matter any further. Call me homophobic, or whatever the current leftist slam may be, but it is going to take extreme circumstances for me to lay hands on a sweaty, nekkid, homeless dude, and a stolen bike just doesn’t meet the criteria.

However it may be, our little posse’ managed to secure this crook, who had a criminal record going back to 1990. I am sure that there were many beers consumed, and much talk of sports and loose women to erase the memory of their exploit, and the imagery that had to linger in their brains. Justice ran its course, and Michael is serving a 12-year sentence for his crimes. (The cocaine possession charge also intrigues me. Just where was this guy keeping his stash?)

This would all be a mildly entertaining story, albeit three years old, if it weren’t for the insane twist that has hit the wires recently. It is reported that Michael Dupree is bringing a civil suit against the men that detained him.

The ‘Streak’ claims that during the take-down, the men pointed a gun at him, and placed a knee painfully in his back as they handcuffed him. In his suit, he states that the incident has “”resulted in permanent disabilities and psychological disorders which the Plaintiff continues to suffer.” Riiiight. Like there were no “psychological disorders” present when he doffed his clothes and hid out after trying to steal a bike. And this guy is a walking example of a permanent disability. But that happened long before the McKoy clan got aholt of ‘im. I’m figuring it was at conception.

All this high sounding psychobabble is simply covering the core issue here: Dupree is whining about the treatment he received from the guys he was stealing from. Just look at his mug-shot. Have you ever seen a more pitiful face in your life? Jesus, dude. Grow a pair.

In my extensive 15 minutes of research, I was unable to locate the specifics of Dupree’s condition upon arrest. But, for the sake of argument, lets just say he was roughed up a bit. What the fuck did he expect? He busted some poor bastards window, ripped off his bike, and then presented himself in his birthday suit when he was chased down. That adds up to a world class ass kicking in my book. It sounds like these guys used incredible restraint, if all they did was “place a knee painfully” in his back. A boot up his ass would have been better, being that his ass was on full display. Waaaayyyy up his ass.

McKoy first thought the notice of the lawsuit was a joke. Unfortunately, Mr. McKoy is being further victimized by a former homeless dude, who, of course, really has nothing better to do. He is up-beat, however, and expects the suit to be dismissed.

What really torques me up, and the reason that I chose this story, is that the suit has been allowed to be filed at all. Please don’t mistake me. I am all for the availability of the court system to convicts in areas concerned with their cases.  I am aware that there is the occasional innocent man that is ground up by the system, and would never advocate for the removal of his recourse to rectify his situation. But that is far removed from the action that has been initiated here. This is a pastime for an anti-social leach, and it pisses me off.

I have long echoed the call for Tort reform in this country. I have my own ideas about how to stop frivolous and expensive suits from clogging our courts and driving up our medical and insurance costs. (Like, requiring the plaintiffs, and their attorneys, to each reimburse the entire costs of defense against such actions, should they lose. If the attorneys had to pay, you would see an instant reduction in suits, and more aggressive defenses, instead of cases being “settled out of court”.)

But those issues aside, the fact that a convicted criminal, currently incarcerated for a crime, is allowed to bring a Civil suit against a tax-payer is simply over the top. At what point are the perceived ‘rights’ of the convicts to legal access abridged using anything resembling rational thought. We are depriving them of freedom of movement, controlling their visitation, and censoring their mail. Why can’t we limit the access they have to the court system? Let them have their motions to overturn, or whatever the fuck they waste their time doing. If it has to do with their crime, let them spin their wheels. But let’s draw the line there. This silliness of suing private individuals from the penitentiary is wrong. Simply wrong. They lost that right when they did their crime.

It’s common sense to me.

Which means that in the world of jurisprudence, it’s completely unreasonable.

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