It’s been kind of a shitty news week (or two) from my perspective. Sure there’s been an abundance of asshattery occurring but I rather tire of the same stories over and over again. We’ve had mothers getting drunk and passing out while their babies are running nekkid in parking lots with knives, wandering roadways. (yes plural – there have been 3 stories hit this week featuring this phenomenon). We’ve had young chicks getting drunk pissing in cop cars, young chicks getting drunk pissing in taxicabs, copping attitude about the whole thing. Pictures reflect what cute things they are on their myspace pages with their mug shots attached to the right or left…and shit. Drunks just get fugly. Then there are these two mug shots. Their stories are noteworthy, yes. Their mugs, priceless.
First let’s examine Jesse Thornhill from Tulsa, Oklahoma. He’s the dude with the smart knots on his head. Total fail if you ask me but whatever. Apparently he’d been giving his mother and his neighbor (who subsequently was also his landlord) a bit of trouble last week. I realize it’s a stretch to believe someone looking like this could have a bit of an attitude, but reports state Jesse jumped into his bad-ass vehicle (a 1996 Ford Windstar van) and tried to run his landlord over, resulting in her quick-thinking-jumping-out-of-the-way maneuver.
This 28-year-old dumbfuck was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon.
A couple of questions: A Ford Windstar? I know they’re “built Ford tough” and shit, but why didn’t he ram her with his horns? Pussy.
Next let’s examine 41-year-old Rosemary Mowls. Have you ever in your life seen such precision with a fine-tip Sharpie? I didn’t think so.
I believe it’s safe to say Rosemary has a few ongoing issues. Some things are just that noticeable upon first glance. But what puts her back in the news is her “issue” of forgetting her address…as in forgetting to register her address, as all sex offenders must do.
It seems as though she may have an issue with getting sexed-up by anyone in her age group so she’s displayed a taste for preying on the younger generation. She was charged and found guilty of unlawful sexual activity with a minor (a 16-year-old victim) back in 1997 in which a 6-month jail sentence was imposed and served. She was around 28 and he was 16 – that’s not too much of a stretch in the real world – but I imagine his parents took a look at who was diddling their little boy and threw one crazy wild-eyed fit. And the courts agreed.
Rosemary has been in and out of trouble since – a little drug action and of course, making it a little more difficult to keep an eye on her sexual appetite by failing to inform the “system” of her whereabouts. She’s obviously not a whole lot of bright. She’s next to impossible to miss. During one occasion when police arrived at her residence, she attempted to lie, stating “Rosemary” was actually getting gas in the car. Uh huh. The chances of you having a look-alike are equivalent to me becoming Catholic. But whatever. She ended up getting busted that faithful day in 2005 and ended up serving 13-months for that little stroke of genius.
Now she’s back in jail, being held without bond because yes, she’s too fucking stupid to comply with the law and failed to provide details of her latest move. Plus, she’s just fucking scary. Seriously makeyourdickfalloff scary. It’s great to know the authorities in Kissimmee Florida never forget a pretty face. Now, keep that subhuman behind bars. Please.
And there you have it, gang. A weekend wrap-up of the two most notable mug shots we’ve run across in a while. Have a good one and try to stay cool.