By Lazlo

Chicago Heights, Illinois Let’s face it. Mom’s can be hot. A whole pornography sub-genre has blossomed based on the fantasies most boys had about our friends’ moms, or that magical fox that lived just down the street. I was lucky enough to have two such muses when I was growing up. One was a friend’s mother who the whole neighborhood lusted over, and the second was the lady who cut my hair. I remember that she used to press herself into me while trimming my bangs. I remember the heat of her thighs, the heaving of her…ahem. Sorry. The truth is, I was too shy and sheltered at that time to even imagine anything of a sexual nature occurring between myself and these icons of youth. It is only later in life, when I am alone and it’s quiet that…

Okay! I’m back. Just had to have some “me time” real quick. Back to the article. It seems that the scenes played out in the cheesy back-room “art-films” really do happen in real life. However, in the case of Cathleen Miller, all the actors were not over the age of 18, and there is a world of shit that comes down in real life if you cross over certain barriers.

Mrs. Miller seems to have been quite popular with her daughter’s friends. The official charges allege that she had sexual relations with four boys aged 14 and 15 years, and provided alcohol and marijuana at parties for the crowd.

According to the news report, Mrs. Miller had been estranged from her husband, and had been granted a restraining order against him after a June altercation. In a town of just 14,000 people, and with a position working for that town, I imagine it was difficult and unseemly for her to find male company to take care of any womanly needs she might have had. The predominantly white southwestern suburb of Chicago doesn’t seem like a place that 40-year-old moms are able to swing with anonymity.  Lucky for her, there were young virile studs around just hankering for the chance to experience life.

I imagine it was all going swimmingly for our young lads, right up until Cathleen’s oldest daughter walked in on her boyfriend and her mom. Awkward! To the boy’s credit though, he felt bad about the whole thing, and tried to apologize to his girlfriend. On Facebook. Oh yeah.

Long time readers of this page (those who didn’t learn early just to skip over my periodic spewing) are aware of my warnings not to post anything on Facebook, Myspace, or any other social networking site that you wouldn’t want your mom or the cops to read. The cops are doing it as a matter of routine now, and mom’s – well they tend to go ballistic when the find out the girlfriend’s mother is boinking their son. That’s what happened in this case. The young man’s parents read his post, and had reservations about the tutorial service Mrs. Miller was providing. They informed the authorities, who opened an investigation into the matter.

Mrs. Miller handled the initial interviews in a way that screams innocence. She checked herself into a hospital with suicidal tendencies. Yep! She’s stable. Her lawyer is doing the talking now, and of course states that she denies any wrongdoing, and that the boys brought their own alcohol and drugs.

Now let’s just look at that for a moment. Even if we were to believe her, given the high credibility that Cathleen has established, what kind of mother lets a group of 14 and 15-year-old boys bring booze and weed into her house and party with her daughter? Isn’t that some kind of contributing charge right there? But, of course, I don’t believe her for a second. This is a fucked up bimbo wannabe that has thrown the whole “living vicariously through her daughter” thing out and decided to get right in there amongst ’em.

As of Tuesday night, she was being held in lieu of a $900,000 bond. A relative has custody of her children, and a spokesman for the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services said his office was investigating the family.

It’s always sad when the party has to come to an end, and I am sure that no one is more cut-up than the four boys who, for a while, were living an adolescent dream. Given time, I am sure their scars will heal, and they will be able to have a meaningful relationship. Of course, that’s after years of grueling counselling sessions with that hot Psychologist with the glasses, and the hair up in the bun. The sensual Doctor that removes the glasses as her eyes burn into yours, that reaches up and undoes her hair, letting it spill across her shoulders, as she gets up and locks the door and moves closer…


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  1. […] This post was Twitted by thinkgoat […]


  2. jingo go go says:

    While it’s possible that the older daughter did walked in on mom and the not-so-lucky lad doing the bad and that was the end of that. I was dumbfounded by what was to be read between the lines of the actual whistle blower.
    From CBS Chicago story:
    “The parents of another teen who had attended the parties figured out what was going on and contacted authorities, court records indicate. That teen was not considered a victim.”
    First of all, what kind of parent allows their children to attend multiple parties at a teachers home and then attends those parties but turns a blind eye to the smell of alcohol and marijuana in the air.
    Secondly it’s written as “parent’s” meaning there is more than one ignorant parent at these parties.
    So my theory revolves around the whistle-blower’s motivation. I can sum it up in one word: JEALOUSY
    (BTW not the race-baiter of the NAACP he has nothing to do with this… or does he?!?)


  3. Evil Twin Jess says:

    Jingo go go, I think you read between the lines incorrectly. “The parents of another teen who had attended the parties” means the teen attended the parties, not the parents. And parents is plural but teen is singular, meaning both parents of one teen. Most likely said teen either came home from a party at Ms. Miller’s home under the influence of alcohol or drugs or the teen simply said too much when discussing the party with his or her parents.

    Also, it stated the teacher had a daughter close in age to the victims, they were friends of the daughter, that’s how she came to be partying with them. I don’t see a problem with teens going to a party held by a friend whose mother happens to be a teacher. In fact it would probably give me a false sense of security thinking that this was a responsible adult I was somewhat acquainted with.


  4. Evil Twin Jess says:

    Oh and you totally lost me with that last line…


  5. Lazlo says:

    Perhaps I am confused, or have not seen all of the reports, but Mrs. Miller is not a teacher. She is/was employed as a secretary for the City of Chicago Heights. My reference to her “tutorial service” pertained to her teaching the carnal arts to underage boys, nothing more.

    Otherwise, you are dead on Jess. The CBS Chicago story differs in the particulars from the source I used, and as my source was nearer to being local, I would go with it. The big syndicates are not known for delving into stories to get the facts, but merely write off the wires.


  6. Evil Twin Jess says:

    You’re right, Lazlo. I didn’t rememeber reading anything regarding where she was employed, so when the other poster commented about her being a teacher, I just took it at face value. Really, though, her profession is irrelevant. Unless she is a stripper, and then maybe the parents should have had some reservations about letting their children attend parties in her home.

    It’s also possible the daughter’s boyfriend and the “teen who attended the parties” mentioned in the Chicago article are one and the same. As you said, the larger syndicate just had less information.


  7. thinkgoat says:

    This shit doesn’t shock me but the $900,000 bail does.


  8. lola says:

    her daughter DID NOT WALK IN ON ANYTHING and they WERE NOT her daughters boyfriends at the time the events occurred (not saying that makes it okay). come on people you DO NOT know her or anything about her all you know is shitty ass interpretations of what scummy reporters think happened. fyi no one knows how she really got caught and umm she WAS NOTTTT A TEACHER…basically did all the perv clerks work in CHICAGO RIDGE. all you stupid mother fkers think you know whats good talking sht on a dumb ass internet blog written by a perv ass mother fcker who thinks he knows so much ha probably cuz hes a fckin pedophile too pussssssssssssy bitch


  9. lola says:

    dont fuck around when you really dont fuckin know


  10. deannamaria says:

    Hey LOLA! How do you like this?

    That skank got ten years.


  11. miranda says:

    you stupid fuck. why don’t you get the facts before you make some retarded ass article


  12. Jenna says:

    Stfu no one cares what you have to say. Internet tough guy over here. Cry into your fucking key board.


  13. miranda says:

    you want a problem you? because i don’t think i was talking to you. you have no fucking idea about me and i don’t have a problem letting you know so say something else if you plan on being brave enough to say something to my face

    Liked by 1 person


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