By: Deadmyron
Only two things are pissing me off right now. One is I don’t know how to wrap my words around the pictures in my articles, like Lazlo does. The other is our country’s excuse for a death penalty. Our death penalty, the way it exists now, is like having a penis: Neither of them is worth a shit if you don’t use them. In 2009 there were 52 executions in this country. That’s about one a week. I’d be willing to bet my monthly allotment of food stamps that more people than that are sentenced to death each year, so obviously there is going to be a bottle-neck. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that something has gotta give. Somewhere. Some time. It is said that it is cheaper to keep a prisoner doing a life sentence than it is to put one to death. Our government’s life blood is money, pure and simple. They aren’t considering the whole picture…the bottle-neck. How much will it cost when they have to start building new prisons and hiring new guards and all the other good prison-type bullshit? It’s time to start using that penis, America! I have the answers and everyone will benefit from my brilliant solution and you will praise me!
First, it is imperative that we need to redefine the 8th Amendment of the Constitution. The phrase “cruel and unusual punishment” particularly should either be updated or erased from the judicial lexicon. “Justice” itself is defined as fair, yes? Ask yourself then, what is fair about not executing a death sentence until all the victims loved ones have died? Cruel and unusual punishment should be relative to the crime. Use as an example, a child is bitten to death by some fucking meth-head. He is sentenced to death. What happens is he sits like a lump of shit in a jail cell watching television. The baby he killed is still fucking dead! Would it be justice to let him hang around for fifteen years and then lay him down like a baby taking a nap? Nope. What would be fair would be death by cheese grater two days after sentencing. Since he allowed no appeal from his victim, he should be allowed no appeal. That is justice.
Now, I’m not suggesting that we kill everyone on death row immediately. The cases where there is some question about the offender’s guilt, they can stay. The ones with no question? The really sick fucks, serial killers, or just plain monstrous? Two days max. An hour before his execution, a guard delivers a dead rat on a paper plate. “Here’s your last supper, fuck hole.” Just before execution, a minister is provided to piss on the bastard. After the execution, burn the body and spread the ashes in a fucking pig pen. That’s justice, folks. Just think of the money this could save our country!
Another thing to consider is giving the family of the victim the right to metaphorically throw the switch when the time comes. I’m sure most won’t, but shit, give them the chance. Whatever they need to help them heal. Perhaps they can even be allowed to choose how to have the offender executed. I mean, in the dark ages, they had all kinds of fun ways to kill people. What? We’ve got five or so ways to execute people? Surely someone can sit down and think up a few more without, you know, going overboard. Nothing too elaborate, or expensive. You don’t need to spend a lot of money ridding the world of some one like that.
Better yet, farm those fuckers out! Instead of testing on animals that never hurt a soul, laboratories should be able to purchase them from the prison and use them in experiments. A poor little monkey can’t tell someone where it hurts, but a fucking child molester can. Use those fuckers like disposable lighters; finish with it and toss it in the trash. There’s plenty more where that came from, mister! Then we would know exactly how a specific chemical affects the human body. Are you aware that a crash test dummy costs about $250,000 each? GM could buy some idiot who decided he could leave no witnesses in his robbery and killed five people in front of a security camera. They pay a fraction of the cost and gather twice the detail as a crash test dummy could. GM can develop an improved safety system and some state government is up $40,000 to boot. It’s win/win folks.
My final idea involves those fucking headline killers. Speck, Gacy, Dahmer, Bundy, I could go on forever. In this explanation, we’ll use Speck because I hate his worthless, pathetic ass. Now, Speck gets handed his death sentence. That day would begin a national raffle. Anyone willing to spend $100.00 can buy a chance to personally put Speck to death. Make a big deal out of it, man. Limo ride to the death house, a night in some fancy fucking hotel, first class all the way. Shit! This country would be rolling in money! Make it a pay-per-view event. In Vegas, they would be betting whether he’d shit himself or not. It would be raining money, folks. Seriously.
Remember while reading, that if you commit an inhuman crime, you give up your right to be treated as a human being. It’s no longer inhuman to strap some dumb fucking robber-murderer in a replica Taurus and crash it into the back of a semi. These are just things, so keep that in mind while considering my ideas. Actually, I should have put this on top, but fuck it now.
Right-fucking-on, Deadmyron.
I did some research a little over a year ago as I was entering into the death penalty debate with some pretty smart fuckers. The same shit was used in the debate that DM brought up – opponents to the death penalty state it costs more to place someone on death row and execute than it does keeping them in prison for life. As many ways as “they” loved to spin it, they are completely full of shit. That is considering all the attorney bullshit that drags on and on. If you cut out all the extra crap (and I’ll discuss that in a minute) the set-up cost and actual execution is cheap as hell.
And who doesn’t think our justice system needs revamping?
It costs taxpayers $15,000 – $18,000 a year to “keep” a prison inmate. About $18,000 too much, especially considering most of the victim’s families are paying state taxes that assist in maintaining these mother fuckers.
For death penalty cases: “The cost of the death penalty can be separated into four categories: startup cost, pretrial cost, trial cost, and post-conviction cost. Each of these cost vary from state to state and from trial to trial. Trial costs vary tremendously because these costs depend heavily on the state’s chosen system for handling capital cases.”
It’s broken down as such:
Startup cost: Instituting a system of capital punishment. (including housing facilities)
Bullshit. Why do they need a special facility? Just pick one prison or two in the state, build a gas chamber, buy an electric chair, build some gallows and some rope, buy a gurney with some good restraints, or buy a few shotguns/rifles, AK47’s, whatthefuckever and boom, it’s done. Transport the prisoner to that prison – costs gas and a couple employee’s salaries for the day. What the hell? They’re getting paid anyway, right? No separate facility. Waste of money.
The expense of building death row facilities.
Again, bullshit. No facilities needed. Just the start up cost of what method your particular state is going to use, that’s it.
The cost of training judges and attorneys to handle capital cases.
WHY? Number one, a judge shouldn’t have to be trained any more – they’re a fucking judge. Attorneys – why do we have to continuously pay for training them on these cases? If they can’t educate themselves they shouldn’t be taking the case. PLUS, as Deadmyron pointed out, it’s overkill. With DNA evidence today, very few are convicted wrongly. If it’s a heinous crime, too fucking bad. They get their trial and that’s it. They’re found guilty with indisputable DNA evidence. You’re out of the pool.
Increased time dedicated to the case.
Bullshit. Not applicable. All lawyers should be putting in the same amount of time on all murder/heinous crime cases.
More pretrial motions unique to Capital cases.
Bullshit. There should be no difference with Capital cases. The same evidence is presented with a regular old murder as with a “Capital” case. Why is it, when the words “Capital” “Capitol” are used, the taxpayer is always about to get it up the ass?
The investigative expenses and hiring of experts.
Whatthefuckever. Why is a “Captial” case so different than others…except again, the “C” word.
(The lawyer list of added expenses is endless and completely unnecessary. But you get the idea)
The cost of execution equipment
The cost of drugs used in lethal injection is $86.08. Let’s round that up to $100 for shits and giggles. Woopteedo. (Sodium Thiopental sedates them, Pancuronium Bromide (muscle relaxer that collapses the diaphragm and lungs, Potassium Chloride stops the heart) Add the cost of a medic or RN starting the IV – get a used gurney. Let’s say the gurney costs $200 (used) and it can be reused for ever. The actual cost of this little venture is $200 a pop.
An electric chair costs $35,ooo and it administers a “shock” between 1,500 – 2,250 volts for a period of 30 seconds for a full minute. Then it’s followed by alternating volts of varying intensity for another minute. So 2 minutes. The estimated cost for the actual killing is $.31. THIRTY-ONE CENTS! Okay, personnel is already on the clock – no needed extras here.
The gas chamber is a little pain in the ass. The cost of the cyanide used is only about $10 but you’ve got to add in air filters and buy some gas masks for employees to venture in to make sure the prisoner is killed dead! Then the body has to be decontaminated with bleach and shit before an undertaker will even touch them. I don’t blame them. The gas chamber sounds like too much “user” hassle to me. But hey, if the system in already built, use it. Estimated cost – $200. No biggie
Gallows are estimated around $85,000. I think that’s a little high but whatever. It doesn’t have to have all the bells and whistles, just an ordinary oak tree would do just fine. Cost of rope, minimal and it can surely be reused time and time again. The you have to hire a smart fucker to put together a rubric that determines how high the fall has to be to keep the fucker from strangling (which I don’t have a problem with) or decapitation (again, no biggie except clean up)according to the prisoner’s weight. A one time hiring of a “brain”, printing off several copies and then laminated so they don’t get all fucked up, you’ve got it made.
Death by firing squad. Okay, purchase 5 shotguns/rifles/AK47’s for all I care. Some shells. Hire 5 marksmen or let some hunters come in for a little target practice for free. I’m sure either team would gladly clean the weapons upon completion and case them back up until next time. So we’re talking about an initial cost of $1000 – $5000.
Any of these options more than pay for themselves in the first few years compared to the $18,000 spend to keep the fuckers breathing and fed annually. (ditching the attorney fees, etc. That’s no longer applicable)
Let’s start taking on the lawmakers, lawyers, judges, and special interest groups who are exclaiming execution is cruel and inhumane. Fuck those people. Keeping them around to suck the system dry, (not to mention victimizing the victim’s families over and over again through taxes to support them), is inhumane.
A great quote was given a couple weeks ago from a man in Utah while discussing tonight’s “death by firing squad”: “The death penalty,” the officer says, “is nothing more than sending a defective product back to the manufacturer. Let him fix it.”
LikeLike
I’ve been dying for a chance to use this .gif. I wouldn’t be opposed to see this happen to baby rapers.
LikeLike
I did a paper on the death penalty last year and I think the reason there is so much controversy is because there have been officer who fucked up and blamed the wrong guy. Then that guy is sentenced to death and eventually gets a good enough lawyer and ten years later he is exonerated. My theory is, if you are convicted based upon pure physical evidence and you get the death penalty, then you should die within a month. Thats long enough to say goodbye right?
Oh and how about that dude that is set to be killed by firing squad in Utah?! Not sure what he did but that would be pretty crazy to watch!
LikeLike
It would be anti-climatic Karrie. They all aim for his heart. It’s not like we get to see his head explode like a watermelon or anything.
Going with what DM started, I think they should sell chances to all comers, like at the fair. Hit the bullseye, get a stuffed monkey! Let the kids play too! Have a prize for who can make him yell the loudest. Endless combinations of fun for the whole family 😀
LikeLike
Yah, I heard thats how they do it but lets say he was a child rapist, I’d be the guy to aim around the heart! Like, the leg or the arm or the ear 🙂 hahaha
LikeLike
TG – that is just wrong, LOL
LikeLike
Jesus TG!
LikeLike
Don’t Jesus me! How many loops did you watch? Myself, I find I continue watching as if to expect something else to happen! LOL I like how he reaches over and touches his severed lower region then grabs a hold of his stomach area and tugs on it like he’s adjusting the pants that are no longer there!
Regardless, it’s a pretty effective form of punishment for those who like to fuck babies, isn’t it? 😀
LikeLike
So, what’s the story on this fucker, anyway? Was he just walking down the road and broke? It reminds me of the monkey attack in Wizard of Oz: “They took my legs and they threw them over there!”
LikeLike
I kept watching it too! I want to see what happens before and after this loop. Damnit, where is the rest of it?!
LikeLike
LMAO. That’s quite a “break”!! I’m not sure what the story is behind this other than what ever happened, it left one hell of a mark and the outcome was not really in his favor!
I would love to see the entire footage – I hate a tease. 😐
LikeLike
deadmyron for attorney general. While youre in office do away with mandatory piss tests too. TG I think that is one of the most fucked up video clips I have ever stared at,, my fucking luck youre hitched already. Its going to be my fuck guide from now on. When she regains consciousness and sobers up Ill show her. If she doesnt puke scream and run off Ill fuck her again. 😀
LikeLike
An objective and concise examination for one’s potential partners! Brilliant idea Krammer.
LikeLike
Where did you get the clip? Do you have a link? I could then trace it to possibly find the entire thing. I have resources. *sly grin
LikeLike
Oooh, I’m excited!
I’ve got to say, after reading your posts today and the fact you haven’t puked or gotten extremely pissed off at us yet, (well, that really doesn’t matter!), I’m glad you’ve come back! Welcome to the strange and twisted fold.
LikeLike
@Krammer… Yeah, piss tests would be a thing of the past. BTW…I like your rules for finding compatible women. I should introduce you to my sister…we just broke up.
LikeLike
What. The. Fuck.
LikeLike
LMFAO Jess. I left it because it’s just that awesome!
LikeLike
I have a feeling, little Pawn found me. If this is you, Pawn…fuck you!
Dude, I didn’t need the history of religion (and football) as you see it. I just think some motherfuckers need to die instead of spending 30 years on death row.
Can we say ‘hypergraphia’?
LikeLike