Thibodaux, La I don’t know how many years I have beseeched the heavenly everything for some type of non-ambiguous conversation. Something along the lines of “Hey Lazlo, What’s up? I’m really here and you can stop wondering. Oh, and by the way – put the smokes down. They’re bad for your health.” Not too much to ask, right? All I get are sudden breezes or a cock crowing at day break. (No sports fans – I didn’t mis-spell crowing)
Then along comes some guy by the unlikely name of Shafiq Mohamed, who not only chats it up with the big guy, but gets instructions to boot. And being the obedient creation, promptly doffs his cloths and hoofs it down the street, bare assed naked.
Police in Thibodaux responded to a call early Thursday morning to investigate a complaint of obscenity. They found the vehicle first – parked in the middle of the road. Shafiq was spotted about a half block away, presenting as god outfitted him, with nothing on but a smile. He alledgedly told the officers that “America had raped him”, and that God had told him to walk around nekkid to save his soul. It must have happened as he was driving along; god just said “Hey Shafiq, I know the Great Satan has just ass-fucked you. You need to strut around town in your birthday suit to clean that shit away.”
And that was it! He stopped the car, stripped, and started struttin’. You don’t fuck around with the word of The Man. Unfortunately for Shafiq, God didn’t get the word to the cops. I am assuming that after they got done pissing themselves with laughter, and making derogatory comments on the poor bastards junk, they took him into custody, threw a blanket over him, and transported him to the jail for some more old-fashioned American style rapin’. Nobody said that doing God’s will was easy.
As of Thursday, Shafiq Mohamad was being held in lieu of a $5000 bond.