By Lazlo

Missoula, Montana Flashing lights! Sirens! There are few things in this world that are cooler. To this day, anytime I hear the wail of a siren, I stop what I am doing to look around in hopes of catching sight of the emergency apparatus passing by. One brief glimpse is all it takes to make me happy. I volunteered as a Firefighter to be around them. Spent 160+ hours learning to be an EMT and got to drive ambulances. And still, I will stop and look.

That’s why I kind of get our silly perp of the day, Carey C. Sterling of Missoula, Montana. She likes flashing lights too. And although her fetish involves those of lesser status (police vehicles), it’s obvious to me she has the bug. How else can you explain trying to steal not one, but two of Missoula’s Finest’s vehicles.

In the first incident, it seems our heroine purloined a three wheeled scooter used by the meter-maid, er…dude, as he was writing tickets a half block away. The intrepid parking law enforcer, Cotey Newell, left his high performance street machine parked with the ignition on. He noticed the heist when he heard the beep, beep beep, of the hotrod as it sprang into motion. You know, I have had beaters that I have done this with – leaving them running as I ran an errand – I mean who would steal such a piece of shit? But Keystone Cotey must not have realized how enticing his ride was, otherwise he would have been cruising chicks instead of ruining some poor bastards day with a parking fine.

It turns out that the wild ride was too much for Carey to handle, though, as she promptly crashed into a college students car. She caused that poor schmuck to have to fill out police reports instead of taking the final exam he had crammed for. It must have been the outrageous horsepower of her new ride, or she was really fucked up. Along with the felony theft charge (WTF – a felony? Cops get real pissed when you joyride in their shit and make them look like fools, I guess) she was also charge with drug possession. Must have been some good stuff, huh?

But our story doesn’t end here.

I’m just guessing here, but I’ll bet that when she was released from jail Wednesday afternoon, she found her way to the source of that happy shit, because at 1:45 AM that night, she tried to lift a patrol car while the two officers were busy with a traffic stop. You have to give it to these two guys. They had locked the doors! You have to know that the chief chewed some unholy ass for hours after Cotey’s little stunt, and these guys can learn from others’ misfortune.

It’s alleged that after trying the passenger door, Ms. Sterling hurried to try the back door, before taking her frustration out on the spotlight. I mean, who the fuck locks a police car? “I assume she was trying to steal it, too,” said Missoula Police Capt. Chris Odlin.

Carey C. Sterling, a suspected transient, is no stranger to the law. She has a 2004 sexual battery charge in California, and is a registered sex offender. That blows any kind of empathy I might have been building for her. She’s not just your regular drug-addled fuck-up.

She was arrested for obstructing a police officer. And since she was out on conditional release for the first offenses, meaning they said “don’t fuck up again!”, she has found herself back in jail on the original charges, and the new obstruction offense. If only she could resist the lure of the flashing lights.


Click here to Digg this article

  1. thinkgoat says:

    I really need to know where the back wheels are located on that 3-wheeled scooter. If they’re far in the back, how in the hell do the “extra large” meter maids keep that puppy from lying on its side?

    These great “heists” alway tickle me. How in the hell do they think they’re going to get away with the crime? It’s not like they’re easy to conceal…


  2. horbaby says:

    what KIND of drugs? it matters.


  3. Krammmer says:

    I think this chick is my sister but I cant know for sure. The bitch keeps changing her name and there is no mug. If she is not my sister I plan on marrying her for a few weeks or fuck, it has been so long from seeing each other the thought of marrying her wouldnt bother me so much anymore. Afterall it is what our mammy and pappy did too.


  4. Lazlo says:

    LOL – you don’t know how hard I searched for a mug – even trolling through California’s sex offender site.

    “And if she ain’t good enough fer her own kin ta’ marry, she ain’t good enough fer us!”


  5. carey c. sterling says:

    I Just Read Your Posts Lazlo & Krammer. I Had Never Been To Montana Before 2010 So I Am Not Your Sister. You Should See My Crimes In W A Since I Was Offered A Bus Ride Out Of State Or Do 2 Yrs In Prison For Punching An Officer On The Chin At The Missoula Station Then Setting Their Trashcan On Fire For Delaying Arresting Me For A Midnight Van Fire I Was Trying To Use To Get Housing For The Winter.



Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s