By ThinkGoat

Clymer, Pennsylvania If this doesn’t make your “what the fuck” meter tremble and break, there isn’t much hope anything else will. I respect the work that is performed by those working for the Humane Society. I really do. I hate the commercials and programs that show pictures of injured, neglected, and abused pets. I cannot imagine working with those animals on a daily basis – animals that have no voice – animals that cannot say, “no, I don’t want to sex it up with that. Not her. Not again.”

I’m back. I had to take another shower. I tried to wash this shit off myself only to come back, reread the news account, and find even my sick imagination didn’t make this up. Indiana County Humane Society officials launched an investigation after receiving a call from an informant asking if having sex with animals was legal. I mean – did he think it was? Did he honestly think it was okay for “man” and beast to get the freak on? He must have. At least for a while. He not only had knowledge of it, he video taped it on his cell phone. Who knows why he decided to drop the dime on his ex-girlfriend. Maybe he was jealous of the fact he and his dog were no longer exciting for her as she graduated to fucking a horse.

Allow me to back up. I do hope you caught the part about he and his dog.

Yes. Dovie Lee Kerner, a 46-year-old sex goddess, not only got her freak on with a horse, but with the “confidential” informant and his Jack Russel terrier … and a pig. Hold on, he and his dog contracted a sexually transmitted disease from her. You’ve got it folks. This crazy woman was screwing everything with two – four legs with a dirty snatch.

She deserves as much ridicule as humanly possible but I don’t think this guy deserves to get off scott-free. He obviously knew she was letting his dog release his sexual tension, obviously knew about the pig, and for god’s sake, he video taped the sex scene with a horse. I don’t think his name should be confidential. I think it should be plastered right along with hers and he too, should face charges of animal cruelty. After all, he condoned it until they broke up.

Lovey Dovie is charged with two counts each of obscene and other sexual material and performances and disorderly conduct and one count of sexual intercourse with an animal.

Wait…dogs can get a STD?


Dovie and Pig's Love Child??

Email ThinkGoat:

  1. thinkgoat says:

    Clymer? Isn’t that apropos?


  2. ravenblackehart says:



  3. absinthe says:

    i hope the STD in question is rabies, it would explain a lot.


  4. thinkgoat says:

    I HAD to change the title from Breaking Up Is Hard To Do to Breaking Up Is Herd To Do!

    I hope they come out with what disease was transmitted. And I hope it’s an awesome one.


  5. absinthe says:

    Indiana County Humane Society officials launched an investigation after receiving a call from an informant asking if having sex with animals was legal. I mean – did he think it wasn’t?

    i think you mean “was” not “wasn’t”. unless you want to share more about your PETA activities.

    and HERD is brilliant!


  6. thinkgoat says:

    Good catch, Absinthe! 😉


  7. horbaby says:

    i have a name now!


  8. horbaby says:

    i mean a WORDPRESS name. how do i get an avie?


  9. thinkgoat says:

    Sign up at Gravatar. As long as you use the email address there, that you’re using here, your avatar will show up. It’ll follow you to any site that uses an email address to comment. Like DD’s front page.


  10. horbaby says:

    oh gee, and i SO love to comment there


  11. lamplighter says:

    Ok. I have only one thing to say.



  12. ravenblackehart says:



  13. thinkgoat says:

    This is awesomely worded:

    Police Criminal Complaint
    Commonwealth of Pennsylvania
    Dovie Lee Kerner

    Statute Description/Acts of the accused associated with this Offense:
    Obscene and other sexual materials and performances.

    IN THAT, on ar about said date, THE DEFENDANT did produce, present or direct any obscene performances or participate in a portion thereof that is obscene or tha t contributes to its obscenity; namely the DEF. had intercourse with a horse on one occasion, and fondled another horse on another occasion, in violation of Section 5903 (a) 1 of the PA Crimes Code.

    Statute Description/Acts of the accused associated with this Offense:
    Disorderly Conduct:

    In that the above named defendant did on or about the above mentioned date, time and location, with intent to cause substantial harm or serious public inconvenience, annoyance, or alarm or recklessly creating a risk thereof; or persisting in disorderly conduct, engage in fighting or threatening, or in violent or tumultuous behavior. To Wit: the DEF. was involved in sexual acts with a horse.

    The acts committed by the accused, as listed and hereafter, were against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and were contrary to the Act(s) of the Assembly, or in violations of the statutes cited.

    Ouch and null


  14. Lazlo says:

    Ummm… Her name IS “Thinkgoat” absinthe. 😀


  15. Frankly Speaking says:

    I have heard of men gettin it on with animals but i do not think I have heard of women doing that. What is with the dude though? I bet you are right. He got jealous and then decided to turn her in and not because he thought this sh!t was wrong. He obviously did not have problems filming it.


  16. Krammmer says:

    If she is single and hot I would fuck her. That shit is sexy.


  17. thinkgoat says:

    Take pictures. 😆


  18. Lynn says:

    Can animals sperm impregnate you?


  19. thinkgoat says:

    No but those with an insatiable appetite to know have tried!


  20. KarenSupper says:

    Wow. Is nothing sacred?!?!?


  21. KarenSupper says:

    Wow!!! Brings a whole new light to the concept of animal rescue, dosent it? HOW SICK!!



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