Flagler Beach, Florida Our Nation has suffered through an unusual winter – the cold air reaching the most sacred of the winter get-aways such as Florida. Being shut in takes its toll on some people. I know it does me. I start obsessing over strange things like the ultra thin boogers that have decided to take permanent residence in my nose as I sleep. Over the past few days of blowing them out, I’m thinking I could construct a model of the inside of each nostril. It’s quite amazing how huge those cavities really are. Speaking of cavities and strange effects the winter has on people, let’s talk about Denise Rutledge.
Maybe it wasn’t the cold snap that prompted Denise’s antics, maybe it was the fact St. Valentine’s Day was approaching. Whatever the catalyst, last Friday Denise allegedly got all boozed up, was feeling a bit amorous and headed down to the local jail for a little booty call.
With her blonde locks swept to the side, love on her mind, and a belly full of God-knows-what, Denise got into her vehicle and drove down to the Flagler County jail and requested a conjugal visit. By gazing upon her mug shot here, I don’t imagine she has the voice of a soft-spoken angel. In my mind, she has the voice of some old barmaid who’s used to yelling at the patrons, “what the hell do you want?” How would you have liked being one of the deputies on duty? This 45-year-old come barging in demanding sex? Do you comply by giving her access to some prisoner that’s been causing problems or do you nicely explain the jail doesn’t condone conjugal visits? They chose the latter. Oooh. Dangerous call.
“Because of the way the 45-year-old was acting, a deputy went out to her car to give her a field sobriety test.” She failed. Blowing a .256, Denise was arrested. Poor girl. There’s nothing like being horny, arrested, and having to fork up $500 bucks for bail on a Friday afternoon. How much does it take to have a cavity filled these days?
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