Desrine Carridice Uses Culinary Tools To Make Her Point

Posted: December 4, 2009 by thinkgoat in Attempted Murder
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By Thinkgoat

West Palm Beach, Florida Pregnancy brings about some radical changes in women. Raging hormones can render the strongest and sanest of women to blubbering idiots for absolutely no reason. There are some women who are very cognizant of these rapid changes and attempt a little self-control. Then there the majority of women who just opt to go with it…using “hormones” as their excuse for everything irrational. Men, pay attention. If your woman already has a touch of crazy AND is knocked up, either get the fuck out for 9 months and hide your ass or quit doing things to piss her off. (generally this would include breathing, talking, sleeping) Anything you do that doesn’t involve her is just inviting trouble. And no matter what, do not take a phone call from your ex while you’re all cuddled up in bed with your crazy babymomma. Ask Hector Santiago.

I know one has no control over who calls your house and who doesn’t. I also understand it’d be a hassle to change your phone number every time you break up with someone. But there comes a time when that minor inconvenience is well worth it if you find yourself in a new relationship. Some of these bitches don’t take kindly to the thoughts of sharing their men’s attention.

I can only imagine the pillow talk between Hector and his girlfriend Desrine, discussing the excitement of what they saw on the sonogram in the doctor’s office earlier that day. With thoughts of little feet pitter-pattering down the hallway dancing in their heads, snuggling each other lovingly as slumber is creeping closer…the phone rings. Hector’s ex. Wonder what she wanted? He might have the chance to find out since Desrine has her ass sitting in jail and he’s laid up in the hospital.

It’s not really known if he actually answered the call but nonetheless, his girlfriend immediately awakened and channeled herself into the characters from “The Shining” and “Psycho” in a matter of minutes. Knowing pregnant women are always hungry, it should come as no surprise what her weapons of choice would be as she taught him a lesson: a barbecue fork and a meat cleaver. I have to admit – good choices. A little stabby action mixed with some chopping…this chick had it going on.

The tenderizing of Hector took place in their apartment and as he fled their cozy abode heading across the street to his sister’s place for help. As he was running and pleading for his life, he was trying to make her believe he only had eyes for her. Yeah, and she was buying that crap at 1 in the morning. She stabbed and chopped him some more.

Hector was airlifted to the hospital and Desrine started ‘splainin’ how she was in bed and didn’t know what the hell was going on. That story quickly changed to explaining how he’d beat and choked her, throwing her down the stairs. You know, she was protecting herself. Maybe. You know, that does happen…women get beaten and finally snap. It may have been a little easier to start contemplating that accusation if Desrine not been on probation for a prior conviction of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and battery. That and the fact she attempted to hide the fork and meat cleaver behind the water heater. She’s now behind bars being held without bail on attempted murder charges.

Guys: Look into the eyes of the girl you’re about to screw. If there is a glimpse of crazy in those eyes, glove it. Don’t take the chance of getting her pregnant and chaining yourself to her for the rest of your life. By looking at Desrine’s mug there, I’m not sure I see a whole bunch of crazy but man, that bitch just looks mean. I’d say look for that shit too.


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  1. lazlo45 says:

    I. Am. Scared!

    “As he was running and pleading for his life, he was trying to make her believe he only had eyes for her. Yeah, and she was buying that crap at 1 in the morning. She stabbed and chopped him some more.”

    That had me rolling. Look into their eyes, guys – and change that number!


  2. thinkgoat says:

    “Look into their eyes, guys – and change that number!”

    She just looks mean as a snake but damn, she’s got some nice hair!!

    I’ve covered a shit load of stories of people using machetes, cleavers, axes, and 2×4’s…but a barbecue for? Classic!


  3. twisted terrors says:

    I gotta get my husband to read this,I’ll look like an angel next to her LMAO!


  4. maria says:

    i no desrine she is a college graduate and a nurse she was raised in church and she is a kind sweet person it has to take alot to get her upset she was a witness to hector gang activity but she did not stab him her charges was drop and she wasn,t pregnant at the time all lies i wish people stay off her case and get a life


  5. Jay1 says:

    she been dragged through the mud too many times. I know her from school.


  6. says:

    That was my ex and she’s nuts I tell you what she was a great f$$&$



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