Bowling Green, KY Being pregnant is one of the greatest joys a woman can experience, aside from the nausea, weight gain, hormonal imbalance, bloating, and, well, you get the picture. The anticipation of meeting your little one for the first time is almost too much to handle. Some expectant mothers spend months getting everything just perfect and rearranging everything ten times before they can finally decide on how the nursery should look. Until you’ve experienced it, you never know the joys of holding your child for the first time after nine months of anticipation. Unfortunately, 21-year-old Jamie Stice did all but meet her little guy. (more…)
Shepherdsville, Kentucky – At the risk of rehashing a story that has already been overdone in the mainstream, I present to you today the alleged cat defiler Alex Phelps. For those of you who are new to the net, or have been searching in vain for a lost aeroplane in the dense jungles of Borneo (I swear it was right HERE!), Alex is the accused perpetrator of the horrific cat mutilations tied to the Craigslist classified ad website. It seems that the carved up carcasses of several kitties had appeared around Jefferson and Bullitt counties. A tip led police to Alex’s abode where they reportedly found the bodies of three tortured cats, and two others nearby. As news of this kind is all too common on the sites I routinely visit, it was met with a yawn and a meh as I got back to the business of massacring digital armies in my on-line game.
But then this story hit the webs! It transformed a ho-hum future serial killer story into something that excited my imagination and fired my ghoulish fascination with the bat-shit crazy! It turns out that Alex is not a sadistic would-be mass murderer. He is a researcher; a genius; a misunderstood explorer years ahead of his time, traversing the ragged edge of the promontory of Science!; and as such can be given a pass for behavior that our mere pedestrian minds find shockingly offensive.
Calvert City, Kentucky The rigors of being a mother of two small children can prove to be extremely trying at times. A good parent sucks up the stress, doesn’t abuse the children in any way, and starts a countdown until bedtime; the time for peace and quiet, the time to relax and melt the stress right off. And what better way to achieve it than letting Calgon take you to some lushly green paradise that happens to have a bathtub plopped down at the perfect location. This story takes place in Kentucky, though. A place not exactly known for people with refined tastes or imaginations. So let’s substitute transporting to Costa Rica for … say … Fort Campbell. And let’s substitute the soothing nature of dissolved bath salts in water to say … snorting them for a quicker transformation. Let’s keep the two children in there for some added excitement. No story is quite so exciting if you don’t have a couple of munchkins to keep the hallucinations real. (more…)
By ThinkGoat’s evil twin
Louisville Kentucky Autoerotic asphyxia, asphyxiophilia, hypoxyphilia, erotic asphyxiation is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. In other words, you’re going to let someone damn near strangle you to death to reach a good orgasm during sex. I like to call this sex game, “you put your hands around my neck and your balls end up in your throat” but that’s just me. I like to play rough. If my partner doesn’t mind his scrotum in his neck, I guess I shouldn’t mind a little airway restriction – and I can guarantee you one fucking thing – I don’t know of one man who’s unhappy with the natural placement of their bag so I’m thinking my pristine throat and breathing pattern is just fine thankyouverymuch. And people, if you’re having problems reaching orgasm or you just like sexing dangerously, buy some fucking toys for crying out loud. Put nails through them or something but god damnit, strangling just leads to some bad shit. Sooner or later your luck will run out and there’s no crazy sex games in heaven, if that’s where you plan on going. (more…)
Middletown, Kentucky It’s common that I research a certain area in which a particular crime occurs, especially when it takes place in an area prone to ridicule. In doing this, it gives me a glimpse into the make-up of the area, the people, and the educational background. Really – I just want to see how “on track” the stereo-types are and most generally, they fit like a glove with the crime committed. One really gets the sense that perhaps the perp’s only real problem is that some smartass new cop rolled into town and busted them from something they’d been doing for a long time with no interference…the real hillbilly areas of this country. This story had me a bit perplexed. I researched the educational background of Middletown and was surprised to see, according to the 2000 Census, 33.5% attended some college or trade school. Either my newest feature didn’t fall into that percentage, he lied, or he thought the interviewer was talking about Carol’s Kiddie College where he spent the first 7 years of his life trying to graduate. (more…)