Miami, FL A lot of men know the joys of being a father to little clones of themselves, especially when they’re two years old. The little rugrats are more than excited to learn what they can from their fathers. I mean, what kid wouldn’t want to learn how to hunt for dinosaurs, make fruit loop necklaces, draw pictures, catch a baseball, and learn how to box? Wait, boxing? (more…)
St. Petersburg, Florida There is nothing in this world sorrier than a grown man crying about the consequences of his own dumbassery. I know we live in the era of “sensitivity” and all that happy horseshit, but come on. If you are fucking up, be a man and take your beating. In Michael Dupree’s case, I mean that literally.
Miami, Florida It’s not often a regular old insurance executive from Florida gets to hook-up with Supermodel Christie Brinkley and it’s not unusual for this sort of news to hit the wires. I mean, she’s been through 4 marriages and 4 divorces, she’s still in great shape – inquiring minds with a finger on the pulse of entertainment news jump on these stories. Especially when there are little tid-bits of very personal details revealed such as: “She doesn’t seem to enjoy it as much when we have sex.” “Maybe it is because I haven’t been as energetic lately, and that’s why she’s not enjoying it.” Poor guy. But why tell this shit to the veterinary worker? (more…)
It’s been kind of a shitty news week (or two) from my perspective. Sure there’s been an abundance of asshattery occurring but I rather tire of the same stories over and over again. We’ve had mothers getting drunk and passing out while their babies are running nekkid in parking lots with knives, wandering roadways. (yes plural – there have been 3 stories hit this week featuring this phenomenon). We’ve had young chicks getting drunk pissing in cop cars, young chicks getting drunk pissing in taxicabs, copping attitude about the whole thing. Pictures reflect what cute things they are on their myspace pages with their mug shots attached to the right or left…and shit. Drunks just get fugly. Then there are these two mug shots. Their stories are noteworthy, yes. Their mugs, priceless. (more…)
Spring Hill, Florida I have a younger brother by five years and I’m here to tell you there was no bigger pain in the ass than he. Whine, cry, tattle-tale and the little shit was always getting into my crap. And he never got into trouble for his antics because he was the baby. There were good things about having him around though. It allowed me to hone my “clever skills”. I constantly had to change-up my game as he became smarter and my will to not get caught became greater. I think those times were good for us both. Hopefully I helped shape who he hides deep within himself today, the non-neurotic cool guy. Or perhaps I helped contribute to the sniffling little brat he still is today – the one who sends me love letters saying, “you’re dead to me”. Either way, our sibling rivalry only went so far – hiding prized possessions on each other, etc. And I have to wonder if prized possessions were what the Eckards expected to find as their daughter said, “Mom, we have to dig up that hole. What’s in that hole?” (more…)
Land O’ Lakes, Florida Ah, love! It springs eternal. Two lost souls find each other in this cold, heartless world and join together to present a united front. They share and share alike; rent money, food stamps, bus vouchers, personal hygiene products. Each is happy to sacrifice for the others well being. The spirit of giving extends to every aspect of the new couples lives, except for… the last beer!
Elizabeth Breeden is in trouble again for whooping up on her new old-man. He told police that they had hooked up in February, and moved in together in May. Seems like they were getting to know each other pretty well by now. And that lazy, ungrateful bastard had the unmitigated temerity to be sucking down the last Natural Light in the house. Sounds like the honeymoon is over.
Manatee, Florida Domestic disputes have to be a major pain in the ass for cops. I mean, how the hell does one go about sorting the “he said” “she said” shit out? Most generally the cops arrive and they’ve just walked into a situation where the woman is in hysterics and the man indignant. But every so often there is the case where it’s quite apparent the woman is the shit-stirrer and the husband/boyfriend has simply had enough and calls the cops to get the crazy cat out of his face. Such was the case with Amy Hager and her adoring husband. I’m left wondering if police got a warning from Mr. Hager: “Watch out, she’s got a shitty attitude”. (more…)