Shepherdsville, Kentucky – At the risk of rehashing a story that has already been overdone in the mainstream, I present to you today the alleged cat defiler Alex Phelps. For those of you who are new to the net, or have been searching in vain for a lost aeroplane in the dense jungles of Borneo (I swear it was right HERE!), Alex is the accused perpetrator of the horrific cat mutilations tied to the Craigslist classified ad website. It seems that the carved up carcasses of several kitties had appeared around Jefferson and Bullitt counties. A tip led police to Alex’s abode where they reportedly found the bodies of three tortured cats, and two others nearby. As news of this kind is all too common on the sites I routinely visit, it was met with a yawn and a meh as I got back to the business of massacring digital armies in my on-line game.
But then this story hit the webs! It transformed a ho-hum future serial killer story into something that excited my imagination and fired my ghoulish fascination with the bat-shit crazy! It turns out that Alex is not a sadistic would-be mass murderer. He is a researcher; a genius; a misunderstood explorer years ahead of his time, traversing the ragged edge of the promontory of Science!; and as such can be given a pass for behavior that our mere pedestrian minds find shockingly offensive.