Archive for the ‘Mug Shot’ Category

Davis

By ThinkGoat

Corpus Christi, Florida In March of this year, Kevin Davis decided he’d run away from home, so he jumped on his bicycle and peddled his happy ass out of town. Riding along the railroad tracks, he decided to ditch his bike and his backpack behind some brush, walk up to the first house he saw, knocked upon the door and asked the poor residents to call the police because he’d just killed somebody. The most I ever get at my front door are Jehovah’s Witnesses and the pissed off neighbors.

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By LadyJustice

Denver, Colorado-Police have now released Kimberly Powell, the grandmother that allegedly beat her granddaughter to death, pending further autopsy results. The release came the SAME DAY she was arrested for the investigation of child abuse resulting in the death of her 15-month-old granddaughter, Amber Enard. Amber died in a horribly violent way on August 3, 2011 at the hands of her own 48-year-old grandmother police say. What the little girl went through was pure hell. (more…)

By LadyJustice

How dumb can one ex-deputy be? Dumb enough that Allan James Waters showed up drunk to his DUI sentencing! (Like they weren’t going to notice!)

The former Orange County Sheriff’s Deputy was caught driving under the influence of a lot of prescription pills on March 1, 2010. He crashed into another vehicle after he failed to stop at a red light. Deputies who knew Waters responded to the accident and then 30 minutes later released him to drive off! (Can we say cover up?) Seven minutes after his first crash he proceeded to have 911 called on him multiple times for driving recklessly, failing to accelerate at a green light, partially stopping in an intersection at a red light, and almost crashing into another motorist. (Nice to know that if the deputies fail to do their jobs the citizens will!) (more…)

By ThinkGoat

Greenville, Mississippi One of my greatest accomplishments was impressing a couple of black women with my culinary prowess in the deep South. Believe me, it’s a moment I’ll not forget for quite some time. These women took everything they did seriously, especially cooking. I’d spent months attempting to prove my worth as a supervisor with these two which was no easy task; I’d never folded a fitted sheet properly (strike one) and I’d never put a grit or a collard green in my mouth (strikes two – ten). So when it came to a potluck dinner, I kept my contribution a top secret thinking if it were a complete failure, I could ditch it and go to Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie and pick up a nice dessert. But I persevered and not only did I win respect in the kitchen, they shared a few tips in preparing the true Southern delicacies. I listened enthusiastically. I knew I’d never use a single one of them – I didn’t care for grits – I loathed collard and turnip greens – but the manner in which they spoke displayed sheer unadulterated passion for their time in the kitchen. As one would start to share, the other would nod in agreement and sing praises to the Lord. I learned how prideful the true Southern women were about their food and I learned a true meal is something that cannot be thrown together on a whim. It’s worked for, it’s lovingly prepared, and it takes a great deal of time. Which leads me to Terrie Robinson. As I write, I’m imagining the conversation I’d be having with Miss Mackannie and Miss Hannah regarding Robinson’s culinary contribution. I think it’s safe to say these ladies had cooked up just about everything under the sun but it’s equally safe to say I don’t think they’d ever cooked up one of their children. (more…)

By ThinkGoat

Lyons, New York Crying babies. It happens. It frays the nerves of every parent to the point of locking oneself in the closet with a fifth of grain alcohol and a Widespread Panic cd. That’s only as a last resort though. Every parent goes through the litany of things to check: Is the baby hungry? Nope. Won’t take tit. Wet? Another wasted diaper. Cold? Wrap it up. Hot? Do the opposite. Does this screaming lung-sac have gas? Walk, rock, pat, and gently bounce him. Seriously, these are just a few tricks of the trade that anyone with an ounce of brain matter can come up with – but – there is a rapidly increasing breed of stupid that thinks the only way to silence a crying baby is to teach her a lesson:  inflict pain. Unless you’re really good at this technique it almost always increases the intensity of the cries. But this breed of stupid is perfecting things. They can quiet this whaling midget with a couple good blows to the head, a little sip of Methadone, trying to stick the baby into the drywall through tremendous force, etc. But our new asshat, Aaron Iacono decided to reenact a scene from Harry Potter’s “Goblet of Fire” perhaps wondering if his little bundle of joy’s screams could be transformed to the beautiful mermaid’s song while under water. (more…)

By Lazlo

Sheboygan, Wisconsin Here is a little gem of a story that caught the eye of the staff here at Crime Crawlers. TG thought it would be the perfect piece for me to get back into the groove. The opening line of the source story in the Sheboygan Press immediately grabbed my attention and imagination by stating the charge Mrs. Lueders is being held on: felony mayhem. Oh yeah – mayhem. And not just your garden variety mayhem, but the felony kind. No more enticement is necessary, I’m hooked. So just what kind of bat-shit crazy behavior does a lady need to engage in to earn such a bad-assed charge as that? Seems it all started in the toilet…

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By ThinkGoat

East St. Louis, Illinois Number 1, avoid East St. Louis like the plague. You’ll immediately know you’re there because, like Lewis Black describes North Korea, it’s so evil the color has completely been sucked out. And the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz live there. Think I’m kidding? Test me if you dare. It’s not a good place. Now even though downtown St. Louis proper is cool, there are still places there that creep me the fuck out.

St. Louis is built on the banks of the Muddy Mississippi with the downtown area right along those banks. It’s really a neat place to walk around – parts of the riverfront have been completely restored into quaint little restaurants and shops. But right next door to those restored beauties are abandoned warehouses that look as though they’ve housed some form of torture chambers. And running walking past them, I could swear sometimes if my heart wasn’t pounding a deafening beat in my eardrums, screams could be heard. And guess what? It turns out I’m a psychic. Those freaky little mini-movies that have played out in 3-second segments in my mind came true in one East St. Louis warehouse. (more…)