True Crime Exposure

Mug Shot

Don’t Poop on Kimberly Powell’s Carpet or She May Slap You to Death like She did to her 15-Month-Old Granddaughter, Amber Enard!

KimberlyAPowell

By LadyJustice

Denver, Colorado-Police have now released Kimberly Powell, the grandmother that allegedly beat her granddaughter to death, pending further autopsy results. The release came the SAME DAY she was arrested for the investigation of child abuse resulting in the death of her 15-month-old granddaughter, Amber Enard. Amber died in a horribly violent way on August 3, 2011 at the hands of her own 48-year-old grandmother police say. What the little girl went through was pure hell. (more…)


Now Former Orange County Sheriff’s Deputy, Allan James Waters, Shows Up Drunk to DUI Sentencing!

By LadyJustice

How dumb can one ex-deputy be? Dumb enough that Allan James Waters showed up drunk to his DUI sentencing! (Like they weren’t going to notice!)

The former Orange County Sheriff’s Deputy was caught driving under the influence of a lot of prescription pills on March 1, 2010. He crashed into another vehicle after he failed to stop at a red light. Deputies who knew Waters responded to the accident and then 30 minutes later released him to drive off! (Can we say cover up?) Seven minutes after his first crash he proceeded to have 911 called on him multiple times for driving recklessly, failing to accelerate at a green light, partially stopping in an intersection at a red light, and almost crashing into another motorist. (Nice to know that if the deputies fail to do their jobs the citizens will!) (more…)


Terrie Robinson Slow Cooks Her Son

By ThinkGoat

Greenville, Mississippi One of my greatest accomplishments was impressing a couple of black women with my culinary prowess in the deep South. Believe me, it’s a moment I’ll not forget for quite some time. These women took everything they did seriously, especially cooking. I’d spent months attempting to prove my worth as a supervisor with these two which was no easy task; I’d never folded a fitted sheet properly (strike one) and I’d never put a grit or a collard green in my mouth (strikes two – ten). So when it came to a potluck dinner, I kept my contribution a top secret thinking if it were a complete failure, I could ditch it and go to Piggly Wiggly or Winn Dixie and pick up a nice dessert. But I persevered and not only did I win respect in the kitchen, they shared a few tips in preparing the true Southern delicacies. I listened enthusiastically. I knew I’d never use a single one of them – I didn’t care for grits – I loathed collard and turnip greens – but the manner in which they spoke displayed sheer unadulterated passion for their time in the kitchen. As one would start to share, the other would nod in agreement and sing praises to the Lord. I learned how prideful the true Southern women were about their food and I learned a true meal is something that cannot be thrown together on a whim. It’s worked for, it’s lovingly prepared, and it takes a great deal of time. Which leads me to Terrie Robinson. As I write, I’m imagining the conversation I’d be having with Miss Mackannie and Miss Hannah regarding Robinson’s culinary contribution. I think it’s safe to say these ladies had cooked up just about everything under the sun but it’s equally safe to say I don’t think they’d ever cooked up one of their children. (more…)


Aaron Iacono Proves He Not Only Has One, But Is One

By ThinkGoat

Lyons, New York Crying babies. It happens. It frays the nerves of every parent to the point of locking oneself in the closet with a fifth of grain alcohol and a Widespread Panic cd. That’s only as a last resort though. Every parent goes through the litany of things to check: Is the baby hungry? Nope. Won’t take tit. Wet? Another wasted diaper. Cold? Wrap it up. Hot? Do the opposite. Does this screaming lung-sac have gas? Walk, rock, pat, and gently bounce him. Seriously, these are just a few tricks of the trade that anyone with an ounce of brain matter can come up with – but – there is a rapidly increasing breed of stupid that thinks the only way to silence a crying baby is to teach her a lesson:  inflict pain. Unless you’re really good at this technique it almost always increases the intensity of the cries. But this breed of stupid is perfecting things. They can quiet this whaling midget with a couple good blows to the head, a little sip of Methadone, trying to stick the baby into the drywall through tremendous force, etc. But our new asshat, Aaron Iacono decided to reenact a scene from Harry Potter’s “Goblet of Fire” perhaps wondering if his little bundle of joy’s screams could be transformed to the beautiful mermaid’s song while under water. (more…)


Karen Lueders Bites Off More Than She Can Chew

By Lazlo

Sheboygan, Wisconsin Here is a little gem of a story that caught the eye of the staff here at Crime Crawlers. TG thought it would be the perfect piece for me to get back into the groove. The opening line of the source story in the Sheboygan Press immediately grabbed my attention and imagination by stating the charge Mrs. Lueders is being held on: felony mayhem. Oh yeah – mayhem. And not just your garden variety mayhem, but the felony kind. No more enticement is necessary, I’m hooked. So just what kind of bat-shit crazy behavior does a lady need to engage in to earn such a bad-assed charge as that? Seems it all started in the toilet…

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Dennis Iagulli and James Pierson – You Just Don’t F**k With That Kind of Evil

evil fucks

By ThinkGoat

East St. Louis, Illinois Number 1, avoid East St. Louis like the plague. You’ll immediately know you’re there because, like Lewis Black describes North Korea, it’s so evil the color has completely been sucked out. And the monkeys from the Wizard of Oz live there. Think I’m kidding? Test me if you dare. It’s not a good place. Now even though downtown St. Louis proper is cool, there are still places there that creep me the fuck out.

St. Louis is built on the banks of the Muddy Mississippi with the downtown area right along those banks. It’s really a neat place to walk around – parts of the riverfront have been completely restored into quaint little restaurants and shops. But right next door to those restored beauties are abandoned warehouses that look as though they’ve housed some form of torture chambers. And running walking past them, I could swear sometimes if my heart wasn’t pounding a deafening beat in my eardrums, screams could be heard. And guess what? It turns out I’m a psychic. Those freaky little mini-movies that have played out in 3-second segments in my mind came true in one East St. Louis warehouse. (more…)


Brian Hall Has a Super Long Neck. And a Machete.

By ThinkGoat

Tulsa, Oklahoma I don’t know if the news sources have been a little lazy this week (you know, right before the 4th of July weekend) or if the criminals are saving all the good shit for when I don’t feel like writing. Either way, outside of the normal baby bouncing off the fist stories, there’s not been much activity in the “what the fuck” genre so I’ve resorted to finding and being intrigued by a mug shot even though the story behind the dude isn’t so whatthefuckish but rather stupid. (more…)


Stanley Eckard Dug His Family Into Hell

By ThinkGoat

Spring Hill, Florida I have a younger brother by five years and I’m here to tell you there was no bigger pain in the ass than he. Whine, cry, tattle-tale and the little shit was always getting into my crap. And he never got into trouble for his antics because he was the baby. There were good things about having him around though. It allowed me to hone my “clever skills”. I constantly had to change-up my game as he became smarter and my will to not get caught became greater. I think those times were good for us both. Hopefully I helped shape who he hides deep within himself today, the non-neurotic cool guy. Or perhaps I helped contribute to the sniffling little brat he still is today – the one who sends me love letters saying, “you’re dead to me”. Either way, our sibling rivalry only went so far – hiding prized possessions on each other, etc. And I have to wonder if prized possessions were what the Eckards expected to find as their daughter said, “Mom, we have to dig up that hole. What’s in that hole?” (more…)


Brian Horst Loses His Shit

brianhorst2

By Lazlo

Dayton, Ohio You just don’t know about some people. What drives their thinking? Are they thinking at all? Today’s story involves a guy that is the poster boy for the above questions. Meet Brian Horst. Mr. Horst started his morning off with a bit of vandalism that cumulated in a stolen steel cylinder, stolen packages of meat, some stolen Mad Dog 20/20, and a busted up ATM. It’s one of those incidents that have to leave the cops shaking their heads and laughing, looking forward to the tales they can tell down the road about this idiot, knowing full well that the rookie hearing the story will wonder in the back of his mind if he is being put on.

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Jarrod Wyatt Got to the Heart of the Matter as his Buddy Kept His Eye on the Floor

By ThinkGoat

Eureka, California Just how crazy is crazy? This seems to be an ongoing debate in the court system these days when defense attorneys are using the “insanity” plea as a way to get their client a reduced sentence, sentenced to a mental facility, or better yet, acquittal. I really believe anyone who’s committing the majority of these crimes are crazy and should face the same fate to which everyone else is subjected. There have been too many cases “won” under this umbrella and honestly, it just fucking makes me sick. One of my favorite examples is Andrea Yates, the female-type psycho bitch from hell who systematically drowned her 5 children in their bathtub and then laid their dead bodies out for display on a bed. Is that the act of a rational human being? HELL NO. Is she insane? Probably – again, that was not the act of a rational human being. However, I will never believe, in the course of time it took to chase, hunt down, and drown each child, something didn’t snap in that fucked up head of hers that made her say, ‘hey, this is insane”, and like quit at drowning child #3. But now instead of a jail cell, she spends her time sitting in the day room of some “home”, drugged up and happy as a clam away from other women in prison who had to leave their children at home. But then there’s criminals like Jarrod Wyatt, who also did not display the actions of a rational human being as cops charged his home and found him standing naked and bloody on the couch towering over the body of his good friend. (more…)


Gary Bond Bound His Lover’s Neck – A Lot

By ThinkGoat’s evil twin

Louisville Kentucky Autoerotic asphyxia, asphyxiophilia, hypoxyphilia, erotic asphyxiation is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. In other words, you’re going to let someone damn near strangle you to death to reach a good orgasm during sex. I like to call this sex game, “you put your hands around my neck and your balls end up in your throat” but that’s just me. I like to play rough. If my partner doesn’t mind his scrotum in his neck, I guess I shouldn’t mind a little airway restriction – and I can guarantee you one fucking thing – I don’t know of one man who’s unhappy with the natural placement of their bag so I’m thinking my pristine throat and breathing pattern is just fine thankyouverymuch. And people, if you’re having problems reaching orgasm or you just like sexing dangerously, buy some fucking toys for crying out loud. Put nails through them or something but god damnit, strangling just leads to some bad shit. Sooner or later your luck will run out and there’s no crazy sex games in heaven, if that’s where you plan on going. (more…)


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