True Crime Exposure

Disorderly Conduct

S&Man (2006)

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S&Man (pronounced Sandman) is a psuedo-documentary following the exploits of writer-director J.T. Petty as he delves into the underground horror scene. Petty starts off the film narrating the story of a local urban legend of a video voyuer in his hometown who was unable to be prosecuted due the victims not wanting to press charges because the videos of them would have to be screened in court. Petty describes his admiration for the voyuer being able to get away with this and wanted to make a documentary about him. This admission, while most likely untrue, sets the tone for the film. Not only that, it indicates the viewer as an accessory for watching this. However, Petty put the cart before the horse and got the funding before his intended subject. The peeper turned down Petty’s attempts to film him, so Petty decides to switch gears and focus on another dark territory: fake snuff movies. (more…)


Carrie Ann Harkness Got Pissed At The Country Fair

By Evil Twin Jess

Meadville, Pennsylvania. I can think of a lot of ways to get kicked out of a convenience store. Climbing into one of those walk-in freezers or coolers could potentially be one of them. Hiding behind the racks and handing people drinks when they open the door, or just grabbing their hand when they reach in for a gallon of milk would be fun. I think it would be a riot to hide behind the energy drinks where no one could see me, and speak as if I were the items; “Help, there’s a Monster in here, somebody call Dr. Pepper!”.  I’m not sure what Carrie Ann Harkness did to warrant being asked to leave the Meadville Country Fair convenience store, because it was so completely overshadowed by her reaction to being kicked out that no one is talking about that part. (more…)


♪♫Oh, Pervs Just Wanna Have Fun♫♪

By: Deadmyron

Brooklyn, IL: I’m learning all sorts of interesting things about Illinois. Good thing, too, because I may be moving there. Did you know there were two towns named Brooklyn in Illinois? One is in Schuyler County…it’s just a little unincorporated village. The other is in the dreaded Metro East across the river from St. Louis. It soon became evident to me that the Brooklyn in Metro East is a fuck-hole. In 2000, the census showed 676 souls, but the streets are lined with strip clubs and bars. Nothing fancy here, folks. It is where prostitutes go when they get too skanky for the big city. It’s dangerous enough to hire a prostitute, let alone some toothless, scabby sow with a crotch that looks like the inside of a dog’s mouth. (more…)


Phantasm (1979)

phantasm

By Deathstalker

Released in 1979, Don Cosceralli’s “Phantasm” was one of the strangest and most creative horror films of that decade. This is no small feat considering the same decade brought us “Suspiria”, “Death Bed: The Bed that Eats”, “Rabid”, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Eraserhead”. Followed by three sequels, “Phantasm” has carved it’s own brand of carnage over a 20 year period that still embeds itself firmly into the skulls of new and old “phans” alike. (more…)


Gavin Stanger Has a Built-In Suitcase – Packs for a Three-Day Jail Stint

By ThinkGoat

Wenatchee, Washington I don’t know how many times I’ve had to think for the men I hang around. From Mr. Goat to my dearest male friends – it never fails, if left to their own devices, a camping trip would consist of nothing more than the vehicle taking them there because the rest had been forgotten. I don’t know if women, by large, hold the dominant gene for planning and foresight but I’ve found through personal experience, it’s a good damn thing men have us around. So that’s why running across a man who’s totally self-sufficient is such a big deal. Add in the character trait of thinking ahead and he becomes very endearing. Equally impressive is the act of carrying all the necessary items without a man purse or (as featured in the Progressive Insurance commercials) the “European Shoulder Bag”. Nope, our latest feature was able to pack the essentials he’d be needing in jail in his fanny pack…as in up his ass. (more…)


The Great Wal-Mart Commentary “Movement”?

By Lazlo

Cape Coral, Florida  Ladies and gentlemen, there seems to be a grassroots tide rising across the nation. These people at first blush seem to be whacked out drunks or drug users, who lose control of both their minds and their bodily functions. But the truth beneath their sordid acts is a form of commercial and social commentary that hasn’t been seen since the likes of Chris Ofili’s contribution on London’s Tate Gallery’s steps. Christina Cifaldi enters the ranks as a new martyr for the cause!

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Charles Meaux Demonstrates The Proper Technique For Burping The Worm. Commuters Complain

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By ThinkGoat

Santa Ana, California Pessimists can say I’m well over a month late in singing Christmas carols – optimists will declare I’m extremely early. Either way, I’m unaffected as I sit her singing the cute little ditty over and over in my head. “Up on the rooftop, click, click, click. Climbing down the ladder with my yanked dick.” Sure puts you in a festive mood, doesn’t it? Kind of like the mood motorists were in the other day as they traveled down Santa Ana’s 5 freeway as their attention was called to a naked man beating his own best friend. (more…)


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